Look You in the Eye
by crookedsmile
Summary: A trajic incident came on her. A man she was born to hate and a new friend carrying the torch of light she longed to see. A nejiXhinata fic.
1. Eyes that Grew Numb

**AN: This is my first Naruto fic (but then it's not about Naruto). Be nice people, you know how I write so basically you know what to expect. The changes in POV are quite confusing so I separated them with horizontal lines. Why am I explaining myself? Read and review.**

**Eyes that Grew Numb**

_If you take a step forward, and two steps more, will you be able to take a better look of what lies ahead? _

_I wouldn't know because I always fall two steps behind._

My mother told me that I have a different pair of eyes. She used to say that I am special, that I'll become a great person because of these eyes. And so I believe what she said.

And then one day, I saw someone who has the same eyes as mine. I just know that that person possesses the same thing as I have.

I felt a great deal of fear. I don't know why.

" He's your cousin, Hinata. His name is Neji," 

I wasn't listening to my father. I found myself staring at the apparition of my future, standing in front of me. All I heard was the word…_Neji._

I hid behind my father, grasped his sleeve and bowed my head to avoid those eyes. For some reason, I don't want to see them… ever again.

**

* * *

**

"Hinata behind you!" Kiba shouted.

A pair of shuriken came flying across my direction. I couldn't dodge it. How am I supposed to avoid these?

I panicked.

Using my palms as shield, I turned around and paused. I waited for the weapon to strike.

**One. Two. Three.**

All of the three reached their target. My flesh.

The first one sliced through my left arm, tearing my jacket with swiftness I couldn't even follow.

The second cut through my right leg. I felt like tumbling down, but my left leg kept on standing.

The third one came closer and closer, in front of me… aiming my eyes.

_My eyes_.

I remembered mother and father.

"_You are the future leader of the Hyuuga. With those eyes, you can change the future of this clan," _mother said

**_A person who can't even defend herself isn't worthy of being called leader._**

"_Don't drag your team Hinata,"_ father warned.

_**You will never change your fate. A loser will always be a loser**_

I was suffocated by that thought.

"**Hinata!"** Kiba shouted. Together with Akamaru, he jumped at my direction. Shino commanded his insects. They swarmed to carry me out of the shuriken's path.

"Hinata, in front!" Shino shouted.

**I will change**… 

_**I will change**_

**Hinata!**_ –_ A familiar voice cried.

"Naruto!" I returned to my own consciousness, but it was too late.

All I saw was crimson. It was all over. I heard something came out of the throat.

An eerie sound.

My eyes turned cold. Numb.

And then there was darkness.

* * *

"Did you have a good sleep?" the nurse asked. She placed the thermometer inside her patient's mouth. After a minute, she took it out. 

"You have a slight fever. I'll prepare your medicine," she said.

"Lie down while I get your medicine," she instructed.

* * *

_I have a fever but strangely I feel cold. Very cold._

_I pulled myself back to my pillow, and then realized._

I couldn't see anything.

My hands were afraid to touch my face, but slowly, I made them do it. I felt bandages, wrapped around my eyes. Some parts have been stiff.

Dried blood.

While that part on my forehead was quite warm and wet. It was still bleeding.

Have I gone blind? 

I lost consciousness once again. When I woke up, nothing's change.

All is black.

I felt like screaming. It's like my heart is draining of blood. That's when everything faded into the reality, which I never even imagined.

_I couldn't see!_

_My eyes!_

I didn't notice that someone held my hand. And then I think my head would explode. I did let my feelings out. I screamed, I cried.

"My eyes… what happened to my eyes?"

But the person beside me refused to answer.

"No, there must be some mistake… It can't be… **It can't be!"**

It's like I'm begging for some explanation, but I already knew the answer.

Why can't I feel the pain in my eyes?

Why can't I _feel_ my eyes?

I clutched this unknown person for support. My feet felt heavy, and so did my whole body. I sobbed, until everything felt painful. I shouted. I even cursed.

" Hinata…" - he spoke my name. His voice was soft, and sad.

I remember now.

That voice. That scent.

"_No_!" I immediately shouted.

* * *

She struggled against him. She threw punches in the air, and all he did is to be still.

"Leave me alone!" she hissed.

Then with a great deal of effort, she searched for her pillow.

_Where is it?_ - She thought. 

Her hands felt something soft. She grabbed the pillow and threw it on him.

It didn't hit him however.

"Hinata -sama, please calm down," he said with a sorrowful tone.

She gave out a laugh, more of sarcastic than happy.

"Calm down? How dare you tell me that?" She was breathing harshly, and her face flushed with anger.

"Do you know how I feel?"

Silence.

"Do you know? Or are you happy now? Don't pretend to feel sorry because I know you're not!"

But then all he did was take in all of her accusations.

"Why can't you say anything, _Neji_?"

"I'm already blind right?"

He didn't answer.

"I **am** blind!"

"Hinata, please calm down," said Tenten, who just arrived to check on Neji. With her were Sakura and Naruto.

"Leave me alone," Hinata said flatly.

"Hinata…" it was Naruto that spoke. It was the first time that he saw her after the incident on their last mission.

Hearing his voice didn't bring any relief to her.

"Naruto- kun, please don't look at me!" She hid her face with her hands.

"I don't want you to see me like this…" she sobbed.

Sakura pulled Naruto's sleeve.

"We must go, " she whispered.

She kept on repeating those phrases, as if she'd already lost her reason.

* * *

_I'm blind… How could this happen to me… How could this…_

_Happen…_

_To me…_

"Stop it Hinata…

"That's enough."

…_Is it a command or a plea_? _He wanted me to stop._

"I don't… want to hear anymore," he said.

Then there were tears. It's salty. But it's not mine.

"Why are you crying for me, Neji?" 

He didn't answer. Instead his arms locked around me while he continued to cry.

I also wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I felt anger, I felt helpless. So I stayed there, pacified by his tears.

_How could you shed tears for someone who's been your rival since childhood?_

_Are those tears real?_

I wasn't able to answer those questions, for I already sank into another dreamless sleep.


	2. I will live for today

**AN: Here is chapter 2. I have been having some troublesome time so I had to write in order to let my feelings out. Read and of course, REVIEW.**

Heartache. How does it differ from a stab wound? How does it heal?

The wounds in my eyes… and the wound in my heart…

How can I be able to make them heal?

My eyes, and my heart?

To me, he was the sun. His hair glowed like the sun's rays, dancing in the wind. And his eyes were as pure as the sea.

I could only marvel at the sight… of the man I admired since I was young.

And when the heavens took my eyesight, my dreams have gone with it.

And _him_ too…

He was the memory of my childhood, which has died in just a flash of a minute or a second.

He was my dream.

"Hinata, you've been stronger than before. I know, that you'll be a great leader someday."

_He always believed in me…_

"… I'm sorry, but I… I don't feel the same," he confessed.

_But he just couldn't…_

I wiped my eyes, as tears flowed uncontrollably like a waterfall. That night, I thought that I have felt the most painful wound this life could ever give me.

"Naruto- kun, please don't look at me!" I begged. He left the room without saying anything. That time, no words of encouragement could make me feel better.

The pain that I have felt without my eyesight… was like the pain in my heart. The one that I felt when said that he couldn't… love me.

His memory drifted on my mind, a sweet reminiscent image of summer.

I will not be able to witness a season such as that.

_But even if my feelings die…_

_I will live for today. _

_I will live for today._

But then, it's easier said than done.

* * *

I was discharged form the hospital two weeks after the incident. Kiba and Shino were also wounded but their damage were both inferior compared to mine. 

Our mission was successful however.

I might have thought of dying if we weren't able to accomplish that task, knowing that my eyes were in exchange of it.

The hospital ambulance took me home. With a cane supporting me, the medical team guided me towards my own house. My own doorway.

Father was waiting and with him was Hanabi.

I could feel them with their eyes on me, but I just couldn't feel _them_.

I stopped walking. I was hoping for some warmth.

An embrace… A tap on the head…

But the space between us is all that I have felt.

"You're back, Hinata," father said. I almost heard it. A bowed to hide my shame.

"Forgive… me… father," I said. I couldn't contain myself anymore. I cried while saying those words.

"Enough." That was all he said.

Even if I couldn't see him, I knew. I knew deep in my heart about what he felt.

I failed him once more.

_You will be the future leader of the main family and the branch family._

How grim my life has become?

I walked slowly towards my room. It wasn't easy to reach it; I tripped when I accidentally bumped against the wall separating my room from the hallway.

_So this is the path of a blind person._

The darkness that I see is like the future. **Unending**.

A few steps more, and then I took a left turn.

The smell was familiar. The soft hum of the monsoon wind and its dampness settled on my skin.

The window was open.

I knew it.

_This is my room_.

* * *

"Welcome home," he spoke. 

Her heart stopped beating: startled perhaps.

"What… are you doing here?" she said uncaringly.

"I learned that you'd arrive today, so I came to see you," he said.

"What for?" Pain obviously etched on her solemn face. Her eyes were still covered with bandages.

He refused to answer.

"You suddenly felt close to the main family," she remarked. " Did my father send for you?"

"No, I came here on my own will, Hinata-sama."

_Hinata-sama_…

She laughed after hearing his acknowledgement of her status.

"Not anymore," she mumbled.

There was a brief silence between them until Hanabi appeared on the doorway.

"Sister, father wants to talk to you. And you too, cousin Neji."

"I think I already have an idea," she told herself.

She slowly turned and traced her blind path towards the doorway, and Neji immediately came to guide her. He held her right arm lightly while her left held the cane, but as soon as she realized that he's helping her, she shoved him away.

"I can walk inside my own home, I'm not that crippled," she snapped at him.

"I'm sorry…"

"You should know by now, you don't give me any relief," she said coldly.

They slowly walked towards the master's quarters where Hiashi awaits them.

"Neji, sit here beside me," Hiashi instructed.

"Hanabi, guide your sister on the other side."

When all had taken their seats, Hiashi began his speech.

"I know that it's too early to talk about this, but I think you already need to think about the future of this clan. The incident that befallen my eldest daughter and the other issues that concern this family obviously mean that a change in the clan's leadership may happen. One of you, will have to take my place in the future."

Hiashi looked straightly at Neji, then to Hanabi.

"The medical team informed me about Hinata's condition. She may not be able to see… again. This only means that even if she is my first daughter, her right to become the leader will be taken. I will only have to choose between you, Neji and Hanabi."

Hanabi gave his father a painful look.

_How could you say this in front of sister?_

Neji's attention on the other hand was on Hinata's.

She clutched her knees with her fists. With trembling hands, she refused to make a statement… or any sound.

"I hope you understand Hinata, I'm doing this for the future of our clan," Hiashi said.

"Father, please give Hinata a chance. She may recover in the future," Hanabi countered, but she knew that was stupid for her to say such.

"Enough Hanabi!" Hinata yelled. She stretched her arms in search for her cane, and left her seat.

"If that's your decision father, then I'll follow."

The sound of the wooden cane as hits the floor, and the ticking sound of the clock. Both in perfect rhythm…

Hiashi watched his daughter walk out of the room.

"I'm sorry my child," he said.

* * *

That night, I wasn't able to sleep. How did I know that it's already dusk? 

The smell of the leaves, the air, the insects.

Shino told me that when night approaches, the insects make definite sounds, like that of a rooster when the sun rises. The wind is usually calmer, and the swaying of the leaves, more subtle. I can feel them and I know.

What I heard from father, were honest words. I already knew that this would happen somehow.

_My future is dark. Unending._

_I may not be able to see again…_

**Unacceptable. **

I didn't know how or why, but I found myself running… running towards some place. I lost my cane somewhere. I even tripped three or four times, but I stood up and ran once more. My feet were already wounded, I could feel blood rushing through, and my clothes were already torn, but I didn't stop.

My hands were drenched with tears, and my eyes continued to give more… and more tears.

* * *

He couldn't sleep. His eyes were wide-awake, searching around the four corners of his room. Using his own eyes he could almost see everything around him, but even if he could, there's no way he can stop her tears from falling. He watched her hands tremble and her soft voice linger with pain. 

Byakugan isn't perfect after all.

And he felt perfectly useless.

He decided to pull himself up. Have a walk.

He thought of the river.

Yes, the river would somehow soothe him.

The sky was cloudless, and all the stars were visible. Full moon.

A cluster of bamboo shoots surrounds the river. A small forest .The ground covered with dried mud and grass.

His footsteps were careful, almost silent. He watched the moon above him; the halo around the heavenly body displayed a yellow hue.

Then he looked at the pool ahead of him.

Shining.

He smiled. It reminded him a memory of _her_.

* * *

She floats like a woodland maiden, or a mysterious fairy above the silver waters of this river. Her hands move gracefully and with such strength, raising the water beneath her and forming a whirlpool on air. Her silhouette- illuminated by the full moon. 

He saw her practicing one night, while he was taking a walk.

* * *

And on that night, he wasn't prepared to see her once more. 

However, it was different.

He found himself searching underwater.

_Hinata! _–

His mind shouted.

Her slippers floated on the shallow banks of the river and so did a piece of her clothing. The current _might_ have torn it off her, as she tried to pull herself upward and swim ashore.

He swam further and further below, with the coldness of water almost piercing his bare skin. The moon's glow illuminated the depths of the river. He swam through the path it created, and used his Byakugan to search for her.

Time is running out. He gambled by using his chakra to create a disturbance, so that any floating body around him may be brought to his reach.

And there she was, beneath two big rocks, her body slumped like an empty sack of rice.

He held her as he reached the water's surface, and immediately took her towards the dry ground.

She wasn't breathing. The bandages covering her eyes already removed.

A mixture of shock and pain struck him upon seeing a full-view of her face after the incident.

A large scar traversed her two eyes, both of which were still closed because of the stitches. The upper cartilage of her nose was broken, and her forehead had a slight depression.

His tears, he was sure of it.

They rushed down his eyes, until he couldn't control himself. He held her tightly, with such fierce embrace. He cursed the gods for what had happened to her.

_What have they done to you!_

She coughed, twice, then thrice. He let her loose as she catches her breath.

He shoved the hair partially hovering her face. His trembling hands caressed her skin. Color began to seep through her cheeks once more.

"What happened to may face?" she asked.

He didn't answer.

She ran her hands through the scar, and felt the apparent abnormality of her profile.

She hit the ground with her fist.

"Why? Why did you let me live?"

She was angry. Though she couldn't see him, she knew could slap him. And so she did.

"You… shouldn't have saved me!" she cried.

"I _don't want_ to live!" she shouted. Her hands ran raked through his bare torso.

"I…"

"No," he said softly.

" I won't let you die."

_"Damn you!"_ she fired back

"Even if you kill me, I _won't _let you die, understand!" he said firmly. "You will get better and you'll regain your eyesight, and then you'll take revenge on _**me**_, for stealing _that_ which is rightfully yours."

Her hands lost their strength upon hearing his words.

Her father already chose Neji to be his successor.

"Damn…" she cursed. But her words soon faded. She couldn't move anymore.

Too much exhaustion.

He carried her towards the house, and while walking he said, " Live for today, and tomorrow you'll have your revenge."

_That's right…­ _- she thought.

_**I will live for today…**_


	3. Can You Save ME?

**Can You save Me?**

The curtains are white.

The sky, chrome yellow.

I sat alone beside the window; the sun's heat dissipated across my skin.

I sighed.

The season's about to end: Autumn.

In my mind, I have painted the things around me with hues that I wanted. I colored the autumn sky with shades of yellow, some emerald green, and indigo. The clouds pile up like small mounds on the edge of the horizon, and the trees, reflect the color of the sky. The leaves- some golden some jade.

I spent most of my day beside my window, staring out on the blankness of my vision - towards some place, only I knew about. It was Hanabi who often visits me. With her were lunch and tea, which I prefer when I refuse to dine with the others.

For someone who sees nothing darkness, spending the day in solitude is difficult. But I then refused to go out.

Once, Shino and Kiba visited me. They said they would take me to the festival near the outskirts of our village, but I didn't go.

"I will not be able to see the fireworks anyway," I told them.

Yesterday, Sakura and Ino sent me a bouquet of white lilies. Hanabi told them that I was asleep. It's a shame to teach a child how to lie.

"They gave this," Hanabi said as she handed the flowers to me.

"What are these?"

"White lilies," she said.

"Describe them to me."

'The lilies, or your friends?" she was confused.

"Whichever," I replied.

"Sakura, the pink-haired girl wore yellow scarf, apart from her crimson kimono. Ino was in a blue kimono printed with leaves and birds. It looks like they're on their way to the festival."

"And the flowers?" I suddenly diverted my attention to the lilies.

"They're so white, and it looks like they're freshly picked. The axis of each flower is honey-colored, and the leaves are green and crisp."

I smiled. "Now I see..."

I became interested with colors. I asked for Hanabi's help. She went out to buy paints of different shades. She told me that she informed father about my new interest, but she never told me about father's reaction.

"So these are the colors. Ultramarine, ivory, charcoal, tangerine, brick red, and yellow." She even bought a paintbrush, and linseed oil.

"Only one thing is missing. Canvas."

"You really took it seriously when I said I wanted to paint. Remember that I'm blind. How can a blind painter make a scenery, or a portrait?"

My words must have hurt her. I felt her wince. I certainly knew how to break someone's hopes.

"Neji said that you'll get better," she replied.

"You've been talking to him about me?" I couldn't hide my irritation.

"He said that, once the stitches in your eyelids were removed, there's a chance for you to gain your eyesight. I asked father about it. He didn't answer me but I feel that there's a chance. You _could_ regain your eyesight."

She sounded like a child telling a fantasy, a fairy tale. The possibility of me seeing again is a fairy tale.

* * *

It was never the same for him. The days and nights, after seeing her scarred face. 

His hands, how dusty those were, after a whole day of training. He became a jounin, something that he didn't wish for, and soon, a successor for the reign over the Hyuuga family. But those callused hands, as he stared at them, didn't give him the answer he was looking for.

"You've been distracted all day Neji," Tenten worriedly said. She noticed his lack of enthusiasm and expression growing.

"Gai sensei and Lee are both worried about you. You've been late on trainings, have skipped some of our missions, and even looked spaced out all the time. "

"Don't mind me," he simply answered.

"It's about Hina-,"

"She has nothing to do with this," he snapped at her.

A week before, he went to the Hokage's mansion. Tsunade had invited him for a brief talk that afternoon.

The Hokage spoke after acknowledging his presence.

"It may seem rude, and I don't want to interfere with family matters, but I suggested something to Hiashi about Hinata's welfare."

Neji continued to listen and regarded her with silence.

"To deny her of her right in the family is an awfully painful, and I sympathize with her grief. I also understand why Hiashi did it. Even I don't assure her recovery after the suture removal. That is why, I also feel responsible for her state right now."

Her brown eyes glinted.

"As the future head of the clan, I want you to break this news to her. She has to pursue another way of life, not as a shinobi. We have decided to consider taking her from Kiba and Shino's team."

The ceiling went heavy and the lights flickered. He couldn't possibly say this to her. _Not him_- he thought.

"Don't do this to her. Please Hokage-sama!" he begged. He knelt in front of the village leader.

"Stand up Neji, " Tsunade ordered. "Hiashi and I decided upon this. Her condition is very dangerous to herself and her teammates. You know she wouldn't be able to use the Byakugan anymore, and because of that, all her ninjutsu techniques are useless. She could die easily on a simple mission, and I wouldn't allow that to happen."

"Neji," she continued. She leaned sideways onto her chair, anticipating the arrival of someone from the adjoining door of her room.

Hiashi came out of it. He was aware of the conversation that transpired between the Hokage and his nephew.

Hiashi spoke as he approached the Hokage's table.

" Neji, you will soon be a part of the main family because you will be my heir. Together with this, you will be a part of the main family, as the man who will take care of my eldest child. You must now by now… what _this _meant."

It was something that he didn't anticipate. His jaw reflected his reaction. It tightened.

"Is this something which _you_ have to decide for me?" he said sharply.

"Are you against it?" Hiashi answered his question with another.

He was unable to answer.

"You are _suggesting_ me of marrying your daughter –."

"The Hyuuga clan must keep the bloodline pure, and the secrets of the Byakugan remain undisclosed. And as you've known, your mother is the second-degree cousin of your father, and so as Hinata's. My wife is a distant relative of ours. No one marries outside the clan."

He looked at Tsunade. The Hokage's expression was unreadable.

"She must pursue a different way of life, not as a Konoha ninja, but as _my_ wife," Neji rephrased what everything had meant to him.

Hiashi nodded.

"You're the only hope for us and for her right now."

"I don't think you understand your daughter uncle," he said flatly.

"I am doing this for her, and for everyone," Hiashi reasoned. "It is painful to see my eldest child, my supposed successor to be in such state as now. But there is nothing I can do."

Neji avoided his uncle's eyes…

He thought of what might happen if he proposes to her. Back at the hospital, she was totally hostile to him and nothing changed when he visited her at home, or even that time when he saved her from drowning.

She might try to kill herself again, or _him_ at the least.

Recalling everything that happened some time ago, he headed to the main family's residence that afternoon. It was the last day of the town's festival.

He thought of doing _it_, after taking her to the festival sights, if she agrees to go there with him.

"How did _it_ look like," Hinata asked her little sister Hanabi. She painted a scene from her mind. The leaves colored with peach, golden brown and red. The sky was partly burning, partly grey.

"It is autumn sister," Hanabi replied.

She smiled upon knowing that her sister understood what she wanted to show.

"This is what's on my mind, and this is what I see," she added.

A faint sound approached at the nearby hallway. Hiashi spoke.

Hanabi rushed towards the door upon hearing her father's call.

"Father wants to see me. I'll be right back," she said before leaving Hinata.

Minutes after, Hanabi returned to her sister's room. Hinata was there, waiting beside the open window.

"Can you smell it Hanabi?" Hinata asked.

"The incense for the festival, the smell of myrrh," she explained.

Hanabi didn't reply.

"What is the matter?" Fear began to creep inside her, for some unknown reason.

"Here is your kimono, the peach one," Hanabi spoke, with her voice trembling.

"I didn't ask for it." Hinata sounded confused.

"Sister… you will attend the festivities tonight…"

* * *

"You will take her to the festival. After which, you know what to _do_," Hiashi ordered Neji. 

"Explain to her. Try to make everything acceptable, for I know she will certainly refuse."

He nodded.

Before leaving, he turned to his uncle once more and spoke.

"I did not come here because you ordered me to, uncle."

With that remark, he walked straight to the doorway.

"You're just like your father," Hiashi said.

"Hanabi, why do _you_ want me to go? I told you I don't want to leave my room," she scolded. "I can't believe you want other people to see me on this degraded state!"

But Hanabi remained silent throughout Hinata's complaints. She continued wrapping the _obi _around her sister's tiny waist.

She got a comb after and ran it throughout her sister's long black hair.

"Two years ago, your hair was too short, you almost looked like a boy. But now, it's so long and soft and shiny. Your skin is whiter too and your features, more lady-like."

"What's with my description Hanabi?" Hinata said distastefully.

"Aside from the scar on your forehead, and your closed eyes, you look pretty sister…very _beautiful_," Hanabi continued.

"Am I? I thought you used to say you're prettier," Hinata teased, her anger slowly evaporating by her sister's caring words.

Hanabi sensed _him_ on the doorway.

He was wearing a traditional kimono, designed with blue and grey streaks. One of his hands, wrapped with bandages, and the forehead protector bearing the Konoha symbol, still situated on his forehead.

"She is ready," Hanabi spoke softly.

"Who?" Hinata asked.

Hanabi touched her hand, and partially pulled her off the seat. She followed her younger sister as the latter guided her way towards the door.

"Where are you taking me Hanabi? Are we going now?"

"No. I'm not going with you," Hanabi answered while looking straight at Neji.

"Then who's -?" Hinata asked.

"**I will**," Neji spoke.

Her heart jumped.

_Why, am I feeling this way? –_ She asked herself.

Whenever she hears his voice, she feels uneasy. Like a thunder from a storm, his tone resonates all over her. It's an uncomfortable feeling.

"Please, _take care_ of my sister," Hanabi said meaningfully to Neji.

She already had an idea on her cousin's plan for her sister.

"Hanabi, what are you saying?" Hinata said with confusion.

"Nothing sister."

As Neji touched the edge of her finger, she retaliated.

"I won't go with you."

He sighed.

_Patience_ - He thought.

"Are you betraying me little sister?" she hissed.

Hanabi retreated.

Hinata's expression hardened.Though she's blind and somehow at a disadvantaged state, she can definitely incite a war with her temper. She used to be soft spoken and shy, but because of the incident that happened, her heart turned to into its hardest. Granite.

"I asked for her help. I told her to get you dressed, because I _am_ taking you to the festival tonight," Neji explained.

"And what makes you think that I would go with you?"

He smiled. Her face flushed with anger, but that only made her more suitable to him. Though she was devoid of sight, he could still feel her hatred towards him. Her stubborn chin and clenched fists were enough to make him realize that.

_You will change…_ - He thought.

He reached out and touched her elbow. She moved away from him, but he pulled her back with a little effort, suggesting he won't give up.

A few moments more, and he succeeded.

They walked past the other members of the main family, and Hiashi watched them. Hinata's sister followed until the two reached the gates.

"Thank you," Neji told Hanabi.

She bowed-. It was a gesture to the future head of the Hyuuga clan.

They walked slowly, with his arms, guiding Hinata. She didn't speak to him. He watched her silence. Until they reached the shrine, there was no exchange of words.

"Neji!" Tenten called out.

"Hey, Neji!" Lee greeted while waving his hand towards the approaching couple.

"Hinata," Naruto said in surprise.

She heard him.

Shino and Kiba were also there, as well as Sakura and Ino.

"We thought you won't come," said Sakura.

"I had to pull her out of her room," Neji replied. But Hinata remained quiet.

"It's nice to see you again Hinata," Naruto told Hinata as he approached her.

She retreated a step. Planned to turn back and run, but Neji caught her. He held her waist and pulled her lightly towards himself.

There was an awkward silence. Naruto glanced at Neji. He must have seen slits in his eyes, but he ignored them.

"The dance! It's started!" Ino exclaimed. She grabbed Shino's hand and went towards the middle of circling dancers. The largest drum was being hit by a pair of musicians, dressed as gods.

"What is that music? I haven't heard anything like it," Temari asked Shikamaru.

"That's the "dance of marriage and love" ," Shikamaru explained.

"So… it means…" Temari hesitatingly asked.

"That people who dance to that tune will have a good marriage. That kind of stuff," he once again replied. Then he yawned.

"Don't look at me like that Temari!" he said, feeling a little frightened towards Temari's meaningful glance.

"Stupid!" the sand ninja shouted. She left his side and grabbed Kiba's hand, to the latter's surprise.

"That's why I hate women," Shikamaru complained.

"What's with the romance and the music?" Kakashi said. He and the other jounins (including sir Gai and Kurenai) were drinking at the post near the Konoha gates. He saw his students, Naruto and Sakura.

"Kakashi sir!" Naruto greeted with a big smile.

His student looked a little embarrassed, to Kakashi's observation.

Kakashi pointed towards Naruto's side, where Sakura absentmindedly settled, and then he smiled at Naruto.

A big question mark posted on his student's head.

_Take her for a dance­_ – his eye suggested.

When the two didn't move, he pulled Naruto's sleeve and grabbed Sakura's arm; and threw them inside the circle of dancers.

Another round of dancing came and the two were left with no choice…

* * *

She was still holding the sides of her kimono, listening to the soft hum of the flute and the resonating sound of the drum. 

"Hinata- sama," Neji spoke.

"Be quiet, I'm listening," she replied.

He looked away. He had forgotten that she's blind.

Her silent breathing suggested that she wasn't able to listen to the sound, and was distracted by the noise.

"Come with me…" he said. He held her hand and guided her until they were already far from the others.

"We've gone far from the others," she whispered.

"You can't hear the music because of the people's noise. If you go away from the interference, you'll hear the sound as the wind carries it. Pure and more vivid."

He was right. She closed her eyes, and imagined. In her mind, she was dancing. Her feet glided above the water, and her hand touched the air. She began to move a step, then two.

Then, she was dancing freely.

And there was him. She caught her breath when he held her waist, and moved gently along her direction.

_Why am I doing this?_ – She thought.

But her feet continued to move, as if she already knew every part of the song, and he moved with her. When at last she faced him, he held her hand and pressed them towards his chest. Her view was nothing but black, but she could almost feel his eyes on her own.

And his heart…

"Neji…"

She felt it, beating with a different rhythm.

Somehow, instinct told her to take a step back. But the timing was too late. He already neared himself to her, and spoke behind her ear.

_"Marry me…"_

**AN: It had to look like a romantic scenario BUT it won't be like this the future... To those who read, you MUST review. **


	4. Paper Crane

**Paper Crane**

Silhouettes danced behind the curtain of darkness. I peeked through the narrow hole from an unseen wall, and saw the flickering lights as they form the shadows. And then, the image grew clearer. The silhouettes began to take new form. Light slowly emerged through the narrow hole. On it goes until everything was bright.

I gasped at the light emerging until it engulfed everything around me. I saw my hands, my breast, and my feet. My pale white skin glowed like a firefly. I opened my mouth to swallow the radiance. And closed my eyes once more.

Once more, I was in total darkness…

"_Hinata?" _

I heard someone called.

"Hinata…" 

Yes, it was Hinata. My name. That's my name.

"Hinata, snap out of it!" a commanding voice followed.

My consciousness came back. Realizing that everything was a dream, I pulled myself out of the dreamy space and tried to listen to everyone around me. I knew I'm surrounded, for I heard whispers.

The festival has been interrupted.

"Poor Neji. It must have been difficult for him to look after such a girl," one of the people around me had spoken.

"Shut up!" someone yelled. It was Naruto.

"What… have I done Naruto?" I asked.

He didn't reply.

"Where is Neji?" Naruto asked someone.

"His wound is being tended. He's insisting on seeing _her_ but we prevented him."

I recognized- it was Lee speaking.

"Naruto, what happened to Neji?" I asked once more.

"If I were you, I'd stay quiet. Hinata, you've lost control tonight," he told me.

I was on the ground. Dirt scattered across my arms. I can feel the hardened soil and dead leaves on my elbow. My _obi_ was in disarray.

_Have I fainted?_

I felt my hands. They were drenched and sticky. I smelled my fingers.

They smelled blood.

"What have I done?" I shouted.

All I heard was my voice slowly fading. My memory started to come back.

I felt an immense amount of urgency, panic, and self-loathing.

When he said those words, _"Marry me…"_

I found myself struggling against his arms. My feet were yanking at him and my hands, searched for something to hurt him.

Until I managed to get something out of his pocket: a _kunai_.

_"I'd rather die than marry you!"_

That's when I realized what I just did.

I almost killed the man I'm _supposed_ to wed.

* * *

I was locked inside my room. Or rather, I locked myself inside my room. For two days, I never spoke to anyone. Hanabi brought me food, and I gave her silence in return. 

I didn't speak to my father. I didn't ask, nor demand any explanation.

At night, I found myself shivering. My hands were shaking, and my feet were cold.

I could still feel _his_ warm flesh, the blade ripping through it.

But he didn't cry, I'm sure of it. His words choked. The last I heard from him that night was…

_"Forgive me…"_

My whole body was trembling. I coiled into a tight ball to shun the cold.

My hands were filthy; the blood still lingered at the corner of my fingers. I sobbed until I felt spasms all over my body.

"Why is this happening to me?"

"What have I done?"

On the third day, I was forced to eat breakfast with the rest of the family. Hanabi knocked very early to fetch me. She told me that father wants to see me, so I must join them for breakfast.

* * *

Silence was part of the menu that morning. Hiashi waited until Hinata settled on her place, and Hanabi beside her. The other members of the main family stopped conversing upon seeing Hinata on the doorway. 

When she's already settled, everyone continued the meal. But Hinata didn't touch her food. She only drank her tea, wiped her lips gently with a piece of white napkin.

"Don't you like your food?" Hiashi asked.

It took a while for her to answer. When she did, the verbal clash between them began.

"It seems nowadays no one really cares to consider what is it that I _want_ and what is it that I _don't_. I'm surprised by your sudden concern father."

"Everyone in this house _only_ thinks about _your_ welfare. But _you_ are too difficult to understand."

"Am I?" Hinata raised her voice.

Hanabi touched her sister's hand, suggesting her to show some respect, but the latter ignored her plea.

"I guess it was all my fault then. To lose my sense of sight and become a useless member of this family, ready to be _disposed_ by my father to my _unwilling_, spineless cousin."

**Unwilling. Spineless**.

Those two words hit him like a bucket of ice water.

Neji was on the other side of the table. That morning, Hiashi invited him for breakfast. Hianata's father will officially announce their engagement, despite of Hinata's violent objection.

She displayed her condescending behavior in front of everyone and even insulted Neji, not knowing that he's right there, about an arm's reach from her seat.

"I will not allow you talking like that!" Hiashi scolded. "I didn't raise you to become an imprudent daughter…"

"The question is…" Hinata countered.

"_Did_ you take any effort to raise me father? As far as I know, it was teacher Kurenai who taught me to become ninja. You didn't want me because I'm weak. Hanabi poses a greater potential to lead this clan more than I do, right? "

Hiashi was silenced by the truth on Hinata's remark. Everyone in the table, including Hanabi felt guilt upon their sleeves.

She must have felt good about criticizing herself for she didn't cease talking.

"And now, you want me to marry Neji. Have you forgotten father? He tried to kill me when I fought against him on the Chunin exam."

"How could you give your daughter to someone who used to despise you!"

She was satirical. Laughing after that remark.

A second stroke of guilt hit Neji. But he remained still.

"Here I am, more useless than before. Do you honestly think that I'm okay father?"

Tears began to spread through her closed eyes. Her hands trembled incredibly.

"It… It could've been better if I died back then. Tell me!"

"Your unspeakable demeanor…" Hiashi hissed.

"Uncle, please stop it," it was Neji who spoke.

She froze. She didn't know that he's there the whole time.

He must have heard t all –she thought. Her insulting words…

Unwilling. Spineless.

"I'd like to go now. Excuse me," she coldly ended.

Holding her cane, she sluggishly walked away from the table, with her left hand stretched out, feeling the access towards the doorway.

Frustrated that she couldn't find the exit, she strode forward unaware of crashing into the wooden panel of the room.

She did bump into the edge of the door. Recovering her balance, she traced the outlines of the wooden frame until she reached the opening on the other side.

Everyone witnessed her determination to leave the room without asking help from anyone.

It sent both Hanabi and Hiashi to tears.

* * *

I cried harder this time. I have never told father about my resentments, not until now. 

Though my eyes were devoid of sight, they were still capable of shedding tears.

How come? 

_How come my eyes lost their value , yet they still give me pain?_

My fingers itched; I touched the scar that traversed my forehead, down to my eyes. I felt the stitches. One, two… I started counting until I reached fifteen.

And then I wiped my face with my blanket. I covered my face. I feel so ashamed.

I continued to sob for countless of minutes, until someone came in.

"What are you doing here?" I said while weeping. He seated at the corner of my bed without saying anything.

"You heard me earlier right?" I continued.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

"About?" He returned my question with another.

"Being insulted?" I said without thinking.

"I don't feel anything remarkable about it," he said.

"I called _you_ spineless…"

"But I'm _not _unwilling."

"You… just… don't give up," I said.

"And you- how do you feel?" It was his turn to ask.

"About insulting you?"

"No. About telling your father everything you've been keeping inside."

"You don't need to know. And even if you do, you wouldn't understand."

"Perhaps you're right," he replied.

" I was too young when my father died."

I held back what I was about to say, after hearing that.

"You feel _it_ too Hinata..."

"What?"

"The loneliness." He moved, but I wasn't sure was he was about to do.

"I don't know what it's like to be blind like you, but I certainly know how it feels like to be out there, all alone," he finished.

I felt his hand on top of mine. He was holding something. I couldn't figure out what it was at first. I ran my fingers through a small figure.

It was an origami crane.

"I used to do a lot of these when I was younger," he said.

"I don't know how to make them," I told him.

He chuckled.

"After father died, I began practicing taijutsu and ninjutsu all by myself. I still loathed the main family back then. After practicing, when my hands and feet were already bleeding, I make paper cranes. When I see them, I remember my father's hopes for me and for the future of this clan."

He continued.

"When I first saw you I told my father that you're cute. I wanted to know who you are and become your friend… I've decided to make a paper crane for you... But I wasn't able to give you one."

His jaw tightened. Remembered that time when he began to develop resentment for the main faction of the Hyuuga clan.

"Uncle Hiashi "borrowed" me, and gave me this branch family _seal_ on my forehead. I realized after that, that we aren't same. I am Neji Hyuuga, and my duty is to protect you, Hinata-sama. That is my purpose in life."

I held the figure between my palms.

"Do you regret it?" I asked him.

"No."

"So, if my father orders you to marry me, you'll do it right? If he tells you that I wouldn't be of any use to anyone, except yourself, you'll agree."

"Am I right?"

He didn't respond to my questions.

I was expecting him to say "yes" but he didn't.

What I didn't expect was, what he had done next.

* * *

His lips were warm. I smelled the fragrant scent of his skin as it pressed against my own. I couldn't comprehend my feelings. After all, it was my first kiss. 

I leaned on the wall, unable to think clearly. His lips still locked with mine. He ran his right hand through my side, and the other one was holding my hand.

When he withdrew, I could almost hear myself whimper.

"My goodness…" I blurted out.

"Hinata," he spoke. " If you do not wish to marry me _now_, then I'll wait for the right time."

I was completely out of breath.

"But for now, I will stay by your side, and do everything you please."

I didn't choose my words when I responded.

"As expected from a **servant**," I absentmindedly answered.

The paper crane on my palm was crushed.

And suddenly, deformed.


	5. The Crimson Sky

_**The crimson sky**_

_The crimson sky, and the shining sun that rests upon it. _

_The miniature world below, and my fate… all rest beyond my reach. _

_I see them as they stay afloat and slowly fade. _

_It was again, another dream._

_I woke up and thought that everything was real, that my eyesight was still with me. _

_But all I felt was the space._

_A space defines itself by not being there. _

I wish that I could be like it. Without any form, without any substance, I would observe the world around me, without being noticed and cared for. There's no pain, and no happiness.

Nothing.

It was the day of her suture removal. The wounds on her face have healed, but there was no guarantee that her eyesight will return. Even the Fifth was sure of it.

Hinata woke up early, aware of what's going to happen that day. She ordered that her kimono and obi be prepared. She chose the color blue.

The sun's warmth spread across the walls of her room. Though she couldn't see, she certainly felt it.

The spark of hope.

There was a light tap on her door.

"Come in," she answered.

He came in, holding her kimono and obi. Walked silently towards her.

" So it's you," she acknowledged.

" Here are the clothes, as you requested," he hesitatingly placed the garments on the bed.

"Help me dress up."

Her statement was short and clear.

He winced.

"Yes," she said.

"Help me dress up."

He stayed behind her, holding the blue kimono, while she untied her nightdress.

Her bare shoulders exposed themselves to him, and her hair, still damp from the bath.

He turned away.

Then she held out her hand to him, and he reluctantly faced her.

With only her undergarments on, he couldn't help but notice how small she was compared to him. Her pink toes and white skin were like silk.

Fragile.

"Please…" she said softly.

Unable to reject her plea, he calmly approached. Nearer, until he was so close to her...

_Calm down Neji_ – he ordered himself.

He gently slipped the clothing into her arms, secured the ends and soothed the creases.

"You should be used to this by now," she said while he finishes his doings.

"You will be my husband right? So you must learn how to take care of a blind woman."

There was no response on his part.

"The _obi_… could you please tie it around my waist?"

The ebony sash circled around her waist, secured by his calloused hands.

"Tell me Neji," she suddenly said.

"Have you ever been scared?"

"Once, yes," he answered.

"When is that?"

"When I lost father. I was scared to move on with my life."

"I am scared right now," Hinata confessed.

"I'm scared, to find out that I wouldn't be able to see again even my sutures are removed."

* * *

They arrived at the hospital. Sakura and Tsunade were already there ahead of them.

As they entered the room, the medical ninjas saw it…

The bond that fate had forged between these two.

Neji guided her to her seat and Sakura immediately began the procedure.

"It will take a few minutes," she said while wiping antiseptic on Hinata's scar.

She had a short nap while the removal is being done. When she regained consciousness, she heard Sakura's voice.

"You can now open your eyes …"

It was the moment she'd been waiting for.

Open your eyes…A soft whisper from her conscience. The Fifth Hokage and Neji were there, waiting for her eyes to open. 

Slowly, her eyes revealed themselves to them.

They were perfectly round and pale.

"Can you see me?" Sakura anxiously asked.

The Fifth approached Hinata and waved her hand in front of her.

She remained quiet for a little longer. When she spoke, tears immediately followed.

"Why… why can't I see a thing?"

It was just as the Hokage suspected.

"Tell me… why can't I?" her questioning voice ached and her hands slowly trembled.

The sullen expression on the Hokage's face gave the answer.

"I'm sorry Hinata. This is just as I predicted. Your nerves have been severely traumatized making them unable to regain their function."

"So, this must be it… I'm blind forever."

No words could make her feel better now, and he knew it.

It was only the stillness, and the truth.

"…At least now… I can open my eyes," she said with a laugh.

"I guess I should be thankful for that."

* * *

They went home, bringing the sad news. However, Hiashi seemed to have known everything.

They appeared on the gate, with Hinata's hand tucked beneath Neji's arm.

Her eyes looked perfectly normal, except that they're devoid of sight.

"I'm home father," Hinata said upon feeling her father's presence.

"Yes, you are my daughter…" the teary-eyed Hiashi replied.

It rained that afternoon; I remembered how water spilled out from the edge of the tin roof. I listened to it, with my ear against the wall.

It must have been forever; I didn't know when it stopped. I stepped outside on the courtyard, without any slippers, without my cane. I couldn't feel the sun's warmth, but I knew it was still noon.

The damp soil felt soft against the soles of my feet. The swelling of my heart was being soothed by the softness of the earth beneath.

Perhaps the countless nights spent on crying were already washed up in flood, and the fear of the unknown, nothing but a normal circumstance.

I found myself walking further, without a trip or fall.

_Nothing obscures a blind path_.

And so I kept on walking.

* * *

When I was young, I asked mother about god. I asked if god knew pain and suffering; and if so, then why did he create such feelings

My mother smiled and said, "_Suffering is something that all of us must feel. Without it, there can be no happiness."_

I asked again. If suffering comes along with happiness, then wouldn't it be better if the two don't exist at all?

She laughed, and said that if that happens, then there's no meaning to life.

_"**Life can only be appreciated when there is both pain and happiness. Like a treasured piece of pottery made out of dirty clay". **_

I wondered if my eyes were the dirty clay.

* * *

The ground was still damp and I was tired after walking for some time. I felt that I was beneath some tree so I searched for some leverage with my hands. Not long after, I felt a rough surface. It was one of the large roots, and I leaned against it and sat on the wet surface.

Northern winds made the leaves dance on the silent music of their hum.

I heard them sway towards the winds direction.

The coldness slowly crept beneath my skin and deeper…

* * *

He found me under the shade of a tree.

He told me that everyone was worried.

"You shouldn't go out alone. At least tell us where you're going."

_His pained voice…_

I wonder if he looked the same as he sounded.

He tried to lift me up, held me with his hands but I refused to be pulled up. I remained settled.

He sighed.

"Hinata sama…" he whispered.

"Are you begging?" I asked him.

He didn't answer. He must have been confused as I was.

"You need to go home," he said.

I remembered the thought of pain…

I thought of the dirty clay.

I pulled him down and he held my hips while his lips ran though my neck, and my bare shoulders. His hands were trembling as they rip away my robe. I felt his warmth against my cold skin.

When he was about to take me, I felt the uncertainty from him as well as within me. He lifted himself up but I seized his hands and I kissed them when he tried to turn away.

_Not now_- I thought.

"Show me Neji…"

I held him close while he was breathing fast.

"What do you want me… to show you?" he asked.

I could still feel the pain within those words.

I thought of the crimson sky.

There were no words after that.


	6. The Ivory dress

**Read and Review**…

_**The Ivory Dress**_

A face painted with a piece of brush and oil ink.

It looked like a lady- no, not just a plain lady. It was a portrait of a beautiful woman wearing an ivory colored dress, with a golden twine tied around her waist.

Her eyes were round, pale and lavender.

She was not smiling, nor frowning. She gazed steadily.

Forward.

Beside her was a man who resembles some of her features. He possesses eyes with an unchanging hue, and a stern face.

One of his hands was covered with bandage- perhaps to hide the wounds.

And on his forehead protector, the symbol of the hidden leaf, gleaming while the sun's rays reflect upon it.

It was a wedding portrait.

The ceremony was unprecedented. Everyone in the village was shocked upon hearing the union of Hinata and Neji Hyuuga.

* * *

"I have three gowns here sis," Hanabi stated. 

"Describe them to me, "the bride replied.

Her sister obeyed.

"This one," she held the dress up high. "… Has pearls surrounding the neckline. The other one," she continued "… has a blue ribbon on the waist. It's a kimono, made of silk."

"And the third one?" Hinata asked.

"Oh! That dress…"

Hanabi went to the unopened box. She lifted the lid to see the last gown.

Then read the card attached to the box's lid.

"A present from Neji…"

"It's from Neji sister," she told Hinata.

"What do you think of it?"

Hanabi inspected the gown.

"It's pretty simple. The only accessory is the golden cord, perhaps to secure the waist."

"I'm wearing it," Hinata concluded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Give it to me."

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

* * *

That night, I remembered waking up with him beside me. I could hear his soft breath against my ear.

I tried to raise myself up, but the searing pain between my legs held me back.

I remained still for a while, unable to think of what I have done.

I made him do it.

I felt corrupted. Soiled.

Then the thought of the dirty clay, becoming a beautiful work of art came to me.

The question repeated itself again and again.

"Have I redeemed myself? Or have I plunged into greater depths of distortion?"

I realized we aren't outside anymore. The damp soil was gone, as well as the trees.

I was lying on a bed, but it's not mine.

That's when it came to me. He took me to his home.

I found my hands searching through the darkness. They landed on a soft figure. His torso, I suppose.

His skin was a bit rough. Strenuous work must have caused it. My hands kept moving until I reached his face.

I felt his mouth, and his closed eyes. I traced the contours of his nose, and then I went back to his torso.

It must have been a long time since I felt curiosity and mischief.

I remembered stabbing him with his own kunai during the festival.

That moment I found what I was looking for.

It was a scar.

I started tracing the lengths of it.

Guilt. I felt guilt.

The scar traveled from the side of his abdomen to his back. It was a deep wound.

He never told me about it. He could have killed me if I were one of his ordinary opponents.

But I'm not.

I'm not a ninja anymore.

Then what am I to him?

He moved and I suddenly retreated.

_Please don't wake up, now. Not when I'm still here_- I thought.

But how can I leave? I don't even know where I am. I can't even see!

He moved further so I pretended to sleep. I couldn't even think of what to say to him after what happened.

Should I say, "_Thank you for this_," or "_It's stupid of you to have sex with me_-"?

My eyes remained closed.

I thought he was going to leave. But he stayed there.

My shoulders shivered as I felt the cold wind from the outside rushing in. I bit my lips and hope he hadn't seen or known what I have done earlier.

Then he spoke.

"Don't pretend to sleep, I know you're awake."

I felt myself turning red with embarrassment.

I opened my eyes and pulled myself up. I grabbed the sheets to cover myself, though I know it's kind of useless.

"Where am I?" I almost whispered.

"In my apartment," he replied briefly.

"Father will kill you for this," I told him. It looked like a warning, but my voice wasn't that convincing.

"I know," he answered.

"What are you going to do?" It was as if I was daring him to commit something stupid like running away from the village and leaving me behind, or marrying me.

He told me he'd do the latter.

"I will marry you."

"So, it's not something that I should decide for. The marriage will come whether I agree or not."

There was silence between us after that.

"Tell me Hinata, what do _you_ really want?" I could feel the anger in his voice.

" Stay out of my life. That's what I _want_."

* * *

He was indeed, stupid. 

We went home together, and everyone in the house already had any idea of what happened between us.

My father was there and when I approached him, he ordered me to go to my room.

Hanabi was with me. But she told me that she'd look after Neji too because father might do something bad.

I heard from my sister what had happened between father and Neji.

Hanabi saw Neji walk out of the room, with a bleeding face.

She heard father said, "How could you dishonor my child? Don't you realize what would happen if _this_ comes out?"

Hanabi told me that Neji kept silent all along. He took father's words and punishment without saying anything, except, _"forgive me uncle_".

The next morning, father announced my marriage to him. He was there, but we were separated. They didn't allow him to get near me, or even talk to me.

I told Hanabi that this was silly since we aren't lovers in the first place.

We aren't lovers.

I told him the same clause when I got the chance to talk to him.

He found me alone one afternoon. I was having tea.

He asked he if he could join me and I said "yes".

When he settled, I told him, "I heard father almost killed you. I was right about his reaction."

When he didn't reply, I continued.

"It doesn't mean that I have to marry you. We aren't lovers like everyone in this house thinks."

I wasn't prepared for his response.

He grabbed me, and encircled me with his arms. I couldn't see his reaction, but I felt my heart stop.

" I wonder how can someone like you hurt me… I've been trying to understand you but all you do is avoid and hate me," he said.

He was so close to me.

Tears fell from my eyes as his grip became tighter.

"Just… stay… away…"

His lips silenced my words. It was a kiss to punish me. I bit his lip as I struggled to free myself from his embrace but I failed.

His blood was warm and I was able to taste it.

It was both sweet and salty.

I stepped on his foot, thinking that he'd release me but that only made him more persistent in kissing me. I felt like crying, knowing that he wanted this to happen.

Between the two of us, it was I who always tramples his spirit and his pride.

But at that moment, I knew that he wanted to win.

I was almost out of breath when he released me.

"I hate you," I cried.

"That's why you'll marry me," he replied. There was no sarcasm in his voice. There was no pride.

Only sorrow…

* * *

"How do I look?" I asked Hanabi after wearing the third gown. 

"Sister… you'll be married two hours from now," my sister replied.

"You didn't answer me. How do I look?"

"Beautiful," she said.

"Beautifully sad," I ended.


	7. The Riverman

**The Riverman**

_**This light. **_

_**A brand new light…**_

_**Was given to me by the riverman.**_

I was married to my own cousin, on the fifth day of spring. I walked serenely towards him, with my steps, like the ticking hands of a clock. Counting unendingly.

I silently breathed.

The path I took was unseen, yet I never tripped.

The ceremony was as quiet as the falling leaves...

Sure as the swaying of the trees.

I asked my sister.

"What color is the sky today?"

"It's grey," she answered.

Indeed, it was grey.

Neji told my father that he'd take me to his home, but father refused. Father has decided to give him one of the houses in the main family's compound.

On the night of my wedding, when the festivity was over, I told him that I'd prefer to stay in my room.

"I don't want to leave my room yet, and I don't want to be in the same room as you."

I thought he'd object, but he didn't.

"It's fine with me, you can do whatever you please. I will leave early tomorrow morning because I have a mission," he coldly replied.

" Good night then," I said.

He did the same, except that, before leaving, he placed his palms on my shoulders and pressed a light kiss on my forehead.

The doors behind me closed.

I sighed.

So on that night, I stayed in my room. And he was alone in our new house.

I didn't actually sleep. I was awake all night, without any thoughts in mind.

I heard the humming midnight wind, the sound of the evening birds.

…The rushing water from the river.

I pulled myself up, and silently walked out of the house. With my cane and my robe on, I sauntered under the midnight moon.

I knew the moon appeared that night, because it was in the family tradition that the first son or daughter be married on the first full moon of the season.

The moon was pulling the waters. I hear them calling out to me.

The river wasn't far and I reached the shallow waters after some time. I sat down on a pile of rocks and gathered my knees up, while listening to the peaceful sound of the currents and the night.

" A midnight fairy… It looks like I'm seeing one," a deep voice approaching from behind spoke.

I was startled to find someone out there other than myself.

"Who are you?" I asked, while trying to find the source of the sound.

"I don't have to tell you my name, and I don't need to know yours."

" So stranger, why are you following me?" I annoyingly snapped at him.

" I wasn't following you. I saw you here while I'm walking."

"Do you live here?"

"Yes, probably," he replied.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I live here, yes," he clarified. "And you?" he asked.

"Not far from here," I ended.

I didn't want to talk to this stranger anymore. His presence made me feel uneasy. I don't know why…

"Call me 'the riverman' ".

"The riv-"

"If you come here often you will find me. It looks like you're a soul who needs someone to talk to."

I felt him come nearer. Soon, he was sitting beside me.

He remained still. He must have been listening to the same sound as I am.

"Hey riverman… I… just got married yesterday."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because…" I kept my words hanging.

"Because you don't want your husband?"

I refused to answer.

" You hate him right?"

I hid my face between my knees.

"I don't know…"

"Then why are you here?"

He repeated the same question.

His words floated like the bubbles of air on water.

"I… I don't know… how to _**feel**_ anymore mister riverman," I confessed.

"My life has been a cycle of unfortunate events."

I found myself crying to this unknown person.

I wiped my eyes with my hands.

"You see… I'm blind."

He didn't react.

"I know," he said.

"I was supposed to be the successor of my father, but then I got blind. Since I was young, father never acknowledges my strength, and now that I'm more incapable of taking his place, I feel so useless…"

"And is _that_ all you feel?"

"No. I… feel hate."

"Against your husband, the successor of your father."

"Yes."

"You hate him…"

"… To the point of trying to kill him."

"Do you feel any remorse?" he asked.

I didn't answer.

"If you feel anger against him, why did you get married?"

"I… had no choice," I lied.

"Really?" he countered. It's as if he knew that I was lying.

"I… must marry him."

"Because you need to take revenge," the riverman concluded.

"Yes."

"What would you want him do?"

"Take care of me, do everything that I want. I want him to suffer and wish to the gods he hadn't married me."

"It's a pity," he said.

"All of them feel the same for me. I don't need your sympathy."

"I'm not feeling any concern about you woman, not at all. I pity the man you'd chosen to carry your burden with."

I felt like choking after hearing that.

" You're the same as everyone," I told him. "He tried to kill me once. He hated my family, and now, he's like a savior everyone's counting on!"

"He was chosen by your father to save you."

I froze.

"He will carry the responsibility of taking care of you, a person who will never see. A person who will never get out of your own darkness."

"You don't even know me," I cried, feeling deeply hurt by his accusing words.

"I know you well enough to listen to your story. That hatred has been eating you up."

I continued to cry. He stayed there quietly listening to my sorrowful mourning.

After shedding the tears, I felt more relaxed.

I felt lighter.

He started to leave and while walking away, he spoke.

"Do come here everytime you want to talk to me."

"Hey!" I shouted, as he got farther.

"Thank you," I smiled.

Though everything was dark, I knew that he smiled back at me.

**AN: This is a short update. I'll try to update soon.**

**Read and review. Something's going to happen very soon…**


	8. Throw Me a Rope

**Throw Me a Rope**

_**Come back and find me 'cause I feel alone.**_

It was his time to leave. But before he does, he wished to see me.

I remembered forcing myself to wake up and leave the bed after hearing Hanabi's call. Neji told her to wake me up because he wanted to see me.

I only had a brief sleep. I went home, a short while after the riverman left.

* * *

The riverman.

It seemed like a dream. It was so surreal.

He told me to meet him whenever I feel like talking to someone.

I do _want_ to talk.

I want to cry, I want to scream.

I realized, I met an amazing man that day.

When I was still with Kiba and Shino, I used to wake up early to prepare myself whenever a mission arrives. But after what happened to me, I found myself always struggling to get up...

And so I walked down the street to fulfill his request.

* * *

The sun rose far above the distant horizon, and mist still covered the streets of Konoha.

A man was there, standing in front of the gates of the Hyuuga clan. Clad in a white long-sleeved shirt and grey trousers, he patiently waited for his wife to bid him farewell.

Not long after, a small figure appeared in front of him.

Her eyes were still half-closed, while her hands searched for the gate. Her feet looked pale and small, and her long black hair gently swayed.

Both of her hands reached out to look for the wooden borders of the entrance, and suddenly, another pair of strong hands held them.

They were his hands.

His calloused palm rested upon her delicate skin. She almost shivered as the odd sensation traveled throughout her being.

They stayed that way for a while. She was unable to move, feeling the warmth of those steady hands.

_This feeling of connection is a complex thing_… 

-He thought.

And it truly perplexed her.

Seeing his young wife in a situation like this seemed to please him very much.

A smile etched on his tired face. He was almost out of sleep too. Sleeping alone in _his_ wedding night was indeed a torture.

He kept on thinking about her… until he came up with a surprising realization: That his attraction to Hinata was so intense, he literally ached for it.

"You look exhausted," he said. "Have you slept well?"

She was still contemplating when he dropped that question.

Recovering from her awkwardness she lied, saying, "Yes, I had a nice _long_ sleep."

"Good," he replied.

"I will be gone for two or three days, depending on the situation. I believe we will be on the assault against a former Konoha ninja. An akatsuki ally as teacher Gai said."

She remained passive. Silent.

His hands released hers. Unable to hear what he wanted, the caring words a wife could have said, he began to leave…

"Wait," she choked.

He stopped and turned.

" Do… come…back…immediately," she ordered. " The house is too big for me. I don't want to clean it all by myself."

He nodded. " I will come back and clean our house, as you wish," he said.

Walking away from her, tears welled on his eyes, and joy in his heart. It was because of her little display of concern.

"Neji, you will be live through this mission," he told himself.

"Someone is waiting for you."

* * *

"Sorry to spoil your honeymoon, Neji," teacher Gai greeted.

"Well it looks like you haven't slept at all!"

"Don't be ridiculous," he irritatingly replied.

They were outside the Konoha entrance. Team Gai was assigned for a class A mission.

"Did you tell Hinata about it?" Lee asked.

"I told her we're up against an akatsuki ally, that's all."

"But you didn't tell her that this person was-" Tenten interrupted.

"No. I didn't tell her _that_."

Team Gai left Konoha, in pursuit of the renegade who got Hinata Hyuuga blind.

* * *

I still couldn't believe it: I am already a mistress of my own household.

I don't even know how my new home looks like. Father asked me if I want to have a housemaid. I told him that I don't need one.

After Neji left, I decided to move into my new home. Hanabi took care of my belongings and guided me towards the place.

"Is the house big?" I asked.

"No, sister. It's a lot smaller than our house, but spacious enough for the two of you."

"Will you visit me… everyday?" I somehow sounded like a pleading child.

"I'll try sis. Remember that the Chunin exam is coming. Dad hopes that I'll become a Chunin this season, so I have to prepare" my sister explained.

Chunin… I was once like that.

I remembered Kurenai sensei, Shino and Kiba too.

My team… and Naruto.

I wonder where he is right now…

I suddenly asked Hanabi. " Do you have any news about my former teammates… and Naruto?"

"I heard team Kurenai left three days ago. It was their first mission, with a new team member. And about Naruto…"

I waited for her to continue.

"He left with Sakura, and their new team member, Sai. It looks like they're chasing the Uchiha ninja once more."

"I see everyone has his own mission…"

It seemed like a dream… those days when I was with Kiba and Shino.

When I took the Chunin exam…

When I was infatuated with the unpredictable Naruto…

When my sense of sight was taken away.

The world stopped before me. Like the darkness that I see, there is only an infinite space, and no time.

I stayed at home all day with nothing to do. Hanabi left after lunch to practice in the academy. She helped in cleaning the house, in setting up some of the furniture, and in fixing my belongings… things that even I can't do own my own.

What could a blind woman do on a lazy afternoon?

I couldn't think of any, but then I remembered the riverman saying, "Do come here if you want to talk to me."

My feet bean to pull myself out of the house, towards the streets, and then towards the riverbank.

I found myself sitting on the same spot where I met him.

I began waiting.

* * *

The water is getting colder, a sign of the approaching evening. I realized that I've waited the whole afternoon, only to be found by no one.

I got up, and wore my wooden slippers. Slowly, I reached for something to hold onto, and then I walked away.

Slowly, until the sound of the currents dissolved and everything was silent.

The next day, I decided to cook breakfast.

Cooking is not something a blind can easily do.

It took me ten minutes to rummage around the kitchen and find a piece of frying pan. Twenty to decipher any edible combination out of the things inside the fridge, and another ten to decide whether I'd cook using an electric stove or a gas-powered one.

When I finally heated the pan, it was already time for lunch.

I accidentally cut my finger with the chopping knife. I even cried while dealing with the onions.

Hanabi arrived carrying food for me. She apologized for not being able to send me the breakfast as father instructed but I told her, it's breakfast and lunch that I'm cooking.

"What do you plan to cook then?" she asked.

"Curry," I said flatly.

"I see no curry powder sis," she noted.

"Buy one for me please," I replied.

I ate the curry- the slightly burnt, salty curry for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

* * *

At night, I felt my stomach churn – rejecting the meal that I had taken in.

_**It will be like this**_, I thought.

Then, I began to cry.

Not because of the indigestion I was having, but because of something else.

The next morning, I got up and realized I haven't washed the dishes on the previous day. The sink reeked of spoiled rice and curry and filled with grease.

That's when I learned to clean the mess I have made.

Hanabi told be she won't be coming because of the preparations for her exam. She told me to go to our house and spend the day there until my husband arrives. I told her I don't need to. I have a new home now, so I must _fill_ this space.

She also warned me not to cook curry _ever_ again and I laughed, saying I'd make some for her if she becomes a Chunin.

I started cleaning the plates. Then I scrubbed the greasy sink, and then, the kitchen floor.

I wonder how time can be so fast for some, and slow for the others.

I've waited.

The bathroom and then the lawn – all tidied in one day.

I even had the time to visit the river. But the riverman was not there.

I doubted the possibility of a second encounter, yet I still went there and waited.

Night came, and I was even more restless.

I tried to sleep early but I couldn't. So I tried to induce lethargy by talking to myself.

I recited poems, sang songs, even do monologues.

I even bit my nails one by one.

Crazy.

Yes, I think I am.

Unable to contain myself anymore, I scampered around not knowing where to go.

I just want to run, and eventually, scream.

* * *

They arrived late in the evening. Team Gai completed their mission, and relayed the important information to the Hokage. The ninja who blinded Hinata was successfully captured, but along the way, he tried to lure the team into his trap so there was no choice but to kill him.

It was decided that they'd "celebrate" their success in one of the inns of the village but Neji refused to go. He leaves the others and went home.

He soon arrived at his own doorstep.

He pulled the knob and opened the door. Hinata was about to do the same on the other side.

The doors opened and there she was- breathing heavily, and seemingly tensed.

Standing before him, she looked pale as the moon illuminates her face.

Unable to speak her mind and unable to say what's in her heart she held her breath...

* * *

He left the doors open.

Her hair smelled of plums in spring, and her mouth tasted like rainwater.

It's healing him.

She is somehow healing every pain his hard life had caused him.

She wasn't saying anything as he undresses her, until when she was about to be his… again and again.

She closed her eyes and held him tightly.

He made love to her in the couch, and eventually in the bedroom.

She was different. The timid girl he met years ago and the coldhearted woman he had chosen to be his wife was the only one who _fills_ his empty soul.

Whatever her intentions were, when she submitted herself to him, he hardly even cares.

Even if he knew she'd hate him forever, he's still determined to win her heart, one way or another.

**AN: The last sentence is a clue**.


	9. The Queen and the Soldier

_There is a big hole in the universe_

_Like the one inside my heart_

What was the moon like on that night?

Was the sky shrouded with clouds?

I couldn't make my eyes know but when he found me, I saw the universe in my own field of lightless vision.

A hole in it- that was similar to what's inside me.

He drew me closer to his warmth, and I almost felt the pain. He told me to keep on living so that one day I could take revenge on him, but whenever I feel him near me, it's as if I knew everything would be fine.

I can feel his eyes on me as I stared blankly into the great distance. Slowly, I loosened the seams of my kimono, until my shoulders and my back shivered with the cold.

I reached out to somehow take his warmth and cover me from shame, but just as I was about to do so, his arms slithered against my spine. I was almost out of breath when I felt those rough hands.

I remembered that moment when I first met him. He was five years old, and I was four.

I heard his father called him "Neji". He asked his father who I was, and I felt scared to look at him.

He smiled at me.

"Hinata, this is your cousin, Neji…" 

Neji.

A short name – I thought.

My thoughts were reeling as felt his strong pulse against mine.

Why?

That was the only question I thought of.

His long, brown hair entwined with my black ones, and his hand clasped with mine. He said that I was weak, long time ago.

Maybe I am.

Tears flowed from my eyes as I felt the pain, and I held him tighter. I bit my lip and refused to cry. Seeing nothing but dark shadows, I felt gravity pulling me towards a place a never knew, and I was scared of it. I kept on holding him to somehow keep myself from being pulled by the unknown force, but my hands were weakening. He somehow understood how I felt.

His arms encircled as he lowered himself upon me, again and again.

I continued to cry, unable to understand this feeling inside me. My heart swelled with an unknown sensation.

I suddenly called out his name, like he was very far away.

Neji.

That moment, I realized what this name had meant to me.

It was everything.

Words.

I heard them came out form my own lips.

"Please, don't leave me alone."

He responded. He took he to his side, caressed my ear with his tongue.

The odd sensation kept on going inside me.

He wasn't saying anything, but somehow, I knew.

* * *

She was like a small feather, touching his hardened soul and body.

He remembered that day when he left, she told him to come back at immediately for she won't be able to clean the house all by herself.

She must have felt the space eating her up like what maggots do to a dead corpse.

It was the solitude and longing for company that she felt on his absence… how does it differ from the way he wants her to feel?

How does it differ from love?

So, she was lonely and she needed me – he thought.

She needed company, not love.

Pain struck him. The reality of what he's offering her, was company, not love.

She didn't want it, nor understand what it means.

Unbearable.

He wanted her to scream out for his name and tell him that he's mistaken.

In an instant, he became more persistent with his touch. She reacted with complete surrender. But he wanted more.

Pulling her from her senses, his lips traced the contours of her ears, her face, down to her breasts, with his tongue encircling her navel and even below.

She bent towards his skillful mouth and cried with sensation of pleasure, which she couldn't comprehend.

He wanted to hear more of it, until she gives him what he truly wanted.

He took her again and again but every time she clings to him, seeking for comfort, as she was about to reach climax, he loosens his grip, avoiding her touch.

He could almost sense the frustration on her part.

She continued to cry unable to understand what he's doing to her.

Her cheeks turned red as she sobbed, and her shoulders continued to shiver.

He felt disgusted.

Angry towards himself.

He lowered himself again, and coupled with her. She was covering her face, resisting the feeling that he's inflaming her.

"Stop it, Neji. Please…" she cried softly.

He replied with a question. His voice was raw, and deep.

**_"Do you want me Hinata?"_**

He lowered himself once again, and made love to her, until she was desperately clinging to him, sighing with every move, and quivering.

He repeated the question.

"Do you want me…"

It was a question that's meant to punish her for using him. However, he was doing the same thing to her at that moment.

"Yes…" she silently whispered.

Crying desperately, she held him to protect herself.

She was shielding herself form shame, using the same thing that's causing it.

"Please… yes…please…" she desperately whispered, without the slightest trace of pride and hatred.

He gave in.

Pulling himself out and then returning once more, he poured himself inside her, holding her tightly and then caressing her.

She jerked with the continuous spasms running through her body.

Though everything seemed unclear, one thing was certain about the two of them.

They needed each other desperately.

Sated with their intense union, Neji remained awake, staring at the dark ceiling. He turned to his side and affixed his eyes on his wife's sleeping figure.

She looked like a child, oblivious to the things around her. Unabashed, and honestly yielding, she changed him from a gentle caring husband, to a hungry, sex-starved man in just one night.

It dawned to him that this girl, the one he used to despise, could easily take over him. She could make him a saint, and a devil.

He could even save and kill for her.

Her face was drenched with tears, and her lips, partially swollen, either from his kisses or from her own resistance from the passion he'd incited upon her.

Her shoulders and back leaned towards his direction as she rested on her stomach, while her long black hair partly covered her abdomen and breasts from his view.

She looked like a sleeping nymph.

-A midnight fairy, as he described after seeing her strolling along the riverbank, days ago.

"It is my destiny to love a woman whom I don't understand," he whispered.

"Hinata, your ways are very strange…"

Thinking of her future with him, with a child or two, or even a dozen between them, he dreamily drifted into slumber.

* * *

**AN: I think this is my first detailed "LEMONY" chapter. I'm not good with writing lemons, and when I do, I always make subtle ones.**

**You know what to do next…**

**REVIEW.**


	10. outcomes

**Outcomes**

Rain brings sadness and quiet…

It washes away the dust on the weeds, and on the leaves of high trees. It leaves the ground moist and overwhelmed.

It's healing…

My heart feels the same about the rain.

But why?

I woke up from a deep sleep. The thin sheets rolled away as I got up -the only ones that I had for cover.

It's raining, I quickly noticed. The smell of damp earth lingered through my nostrils, and the cool wind slid through my hair.

I felt cold.

I gathered myself up and searched for a robe to wrap my naked self, and then traced my blind path towards the wooden panels.

I need to clean myself. I need to be healed.

Outside, the slight showers made an eerie sound. I realized that the sun isn't there at all. Daybreak is still far ahead.

The cobblestones felt cold against my feet. I continued to walk until everything that covers me was drenched.

Frailty. Demise.

How should I describe my life?

Love.

Love?

The word seems to have lost its sense. A sound created by a conjunction of four distant letters.

I remembered an old practice.

Raising my weak arms, I did the familiar stance…

_The_ _gentle fist style of martial arts_.

When was the last time I thought about this? That I am a ninja?

When was the last time I thought about my team? About Kurenai-sensei?

When was the last time… I thought of being myself?

My hands were trembling.

I couldn't even make these hands strong.

It was all because of my eyes. My eyes took everything away, my dreams, even my soul. And now I am just an empty piece of shell.

"Hinata, you'd get sick if you stay out here."

He spoke of my name.

I pretended not to have heard his call.

He repeated.

I didn't respond.

And then, he was beside me. I found myself leaning on the same scent of him.

The drops of water echoed one by one, until my ears were drowning.

"Do you hear it Neji?" I spoke.

It took a while for him to answer.

"I hear nothing but rain," he replied.

My palms reached out to him, until they finally reached his face. His hair was partially damp and his skin, cold.

" My life… is fading," I said.

"What… can I do…" his words drifted.

_**Give me your eyes**_– I thought**.**

* * *

After hearing those words from her, he froze.

She never spoke after that.

He led her inside the house, slid the paper doors.

On a stool she sat, with her eyes, affixed on her damp feet, as if seeing how the skin wilts with salty water.

He knelt in front of her, and held her left foot. Then he began wiping it with a dry white cloth.

She remained still. He continued until her left foot was already dry.

Then he reached for her right foot and did the same thing to it.

His fingers were trembling and he was still soaking wet, while her feet were already warm and parched. He got another cloth and dabbed her damp hair, then her shoulders.

The rain stopped.

When he was about to wipe her knees, she clasped his hands and held them. Then she placed them onto her chest, and whispered.

"Can you feel it?"

He remained still, while studying her sad eyes.

"I can't feel my own heartbeat," she said.

"I can't hear anything, I can't feel anything, yet it was just my eyesight that was taken!" she cried.

"I…" she sobbed. "I _**can't**_ love you!"

* * *

He didn't say a word.

When I said that I couldn't love him, he regarded me with silence.

"Are you deaf!" I angrily shouted.

Yet he didn't say a word. He continued wiping my knees, and then the sides of my damp thigh.

"Say something!" I pleaded.

When he didn't reply, I slapped him once, on his left cheek. I knew it was quite a hard blow because his face jerked sideways.

He raised himself up slowly, and held my shoulders. I almost jumped backwards when he shoved the arms of my damp robe, and began wiping my back and chest.

"How long are you going to do this?" I asked.

He was already wiping my belly.

"Until, I say enough," he replied.

I was dumbfounded.

He continued.

"Even if you beg me, or even if you push me away. I won't leave."

* * *

Two days.

After their last mission, Neji didn't report to his teammates, and even to the Hokage.

He stayed at home, taking care of his blind wife.

"When did _he_ learn to skip a mission?" Tsunade sounded furious.

"Sir Gai and the others left but before they do, he told me that Neji informed them about this," Shizune explained.

"He has to take care of his wife, master. She has… influenza."

"Shizune," the Hokage whispered. "Hinata isn't the same… as before."

"Yes, perhaps it's because of what happened to her. Sakura said they rarely see her. She confined herself inside the Hyuuga clan's gates."

The Hokage remained silent, thinking.

"Neji Hyuuga… already accepted his fate."

"He will have to bear _that _cross engraved by Hiashi."

What supposed to be a day-off for him, turned to be a week without any missions.

His wife, who immediately caught influenza after getting soaked with the monsoon rain, refused to be left alone.

"_If you leave, then might as well not come back,"_ she hissed after learning about her husband's departure.

It was Tenten who came to fetch Neji that day. He was already preparing his gear when his teammate knocked on his doorstep.

"Neji!" Tenten greeted.

"Oh, you're early," he noted.

"Master Tsunade wanted to see you. She said you'd be receiving special instructions for our mission."

"I see. I'll check Hinata first, then we'll go."

He went to their room to check on his wife and say goodbye.

But before he speaks, she began her jibe.

"You're leaving," she said flatly.

"Yes, I have an urgent mission," he explained.

"I'm… not feeling well," she stressed.

He moved closer and felt her temple with his palm. She was indeed having fever.

" Shall I call a doctor? Or take you to the hospital perhaps?" he worriedly asked.

"No."

She refused.

"I'll tell Tenten to go ahead," he concluded.

When he was about to walk away, her voice stopped him.

"If you leave, then might as well, not come back."

She was testing him, he thought at first. But he knew she wasn't playing games with him. Her face flushed and sweat was dripping on the sides of her temple.

She's ill – he concluded.

* * *

He stayed at her side all day, nursing her like some medical ninja, though he isn't trained for the job.

When her fever reached 39 degrees, she began to have chills. She coughed violently, and shivered.

He ran to the main house, to ask for Hanabi's help. When he found no one, he immediately went back home, and browsed through the Konoha directory.

After finding Haruno Sakura's number, he began dialing the phone.

Luckily, Sakura just arrived and received his call.

"She's having high fevers, and she's trembling violently," he tried to speak calmly.

"Relax Neji, try to keep the tremors down. Do you have any medicine there/"

"I believe I have," he replied, looking at the pill bottle on his right hand.

"Give her anti-pyretic pills every four hours, then monitor her temperature," Sakura instructed.

Lastly, she gave him an important instruction: "Keep her warm."

"Okay," he replied uncomprehendingly.

He cooked some soup for her. He had to do it twice for the first one tasted burnt.

She vomited after eating the second serving of soup.

He caught her as she expelled the soup - immediately after swallowing it.

She spilled it on him.

Again, he took her temperature.

Still at 39.

She continued to tremble, and she wasn't being mean - neither sweet. It looked like she's already half-conscious.

He panicked.

He carried her onto the bathtub, removed her clothes and bathed her with warm water.

After running around the house for almost three hours and calling everyone that he knew for help, she became a little better.

Her fever lowered and the chills subsided.

* * *

It was already sunset. Sitting beside her sleeping figure, with the smell of her vomit still lingering on his clothes, he

patiently hoped that everything would turn out fine.

There was no dinner, not even sleep for him.

The next day, she refused to eat the meal he prepared.

She said she wanted something cold.

"My mouth feels dry. Please get me something cold to eat."

He went to the Konoha grocery to look for something cold.

After buying sushi and some fruits, he immediately prepared her lunch.

She didn't want sushi.

She only ate an apple, and felt like vomiting once more.

Something's definitely wrong – he thought.

That afternoon, he went to the Konoha hospital to talk to a medical specialist.

"She has high fever yesterday, then the fever subsided. She was vomiting, and shivering."

After hearing the whole story, the doctor concluded. " I think you'll be expecting a child soon Mr. Hyuuga."

"Excuse me?"

He was baffled.

"Your wife may be suffering from symptoms of early pregnancy. Bring her here once she recovers and we'll see," the doctor suggested.

* * *

"It's not influenza Shizune," Sakura corrected.

"Master, the doctor told me that, maybe Hinata is pregnant," she added.

"Then it's better for Neji to stay at his wife's side," Tsunade decided after hearing Sakura's news.

"Temporary suspension for Neji Hyuuga from carrying out difficult missions," the Hokage ordered.

* * *

Back on her home, Hinata remained on the bed, while Neji did the laundry. And then -the cooking.

It was an exhausting 3 days. He was only able to get some sleep on the third night, when her body temperature returned to normal, and the chills stopped.

He remembered the doctor saying to him, "She must have been very tired… you must not overdo _it_."

Those words made him blush with embarassment.

_Too much sex is bad_- the doctor implied.

Then he thought about her possible pregnancy.

A child.

His child.

She woke up and grabbed the sheets, as if looking for something… or someone.

Her hands landed on his palm.

Warm. She felt very warm, he thought. Without having second thoughts, he placed hi hand on her abdomen, feeling the presence of his unborn child in that little space.

It surprised her.

"What are you… doing?"

He didn't reply.

"You can go now, I'm okay," she said.

"No. I won't."

**AN: This is a fast update. Now - review...**


	11. The Fading View

**The Fading View**

_I wonder if there's anything that I could give for happiness._

_If I threw myself into the fire,_

_If I drown in the midst of despair,_

_If I ceased to exist,_

_Will it come to me? _

_If it does, then I'll never know._

There've been changes inside me that I couldn't understand. My feet seem to swell, and I feel a lot of weight.

I thought I'd feel better after being in bed for almost a week, but it looks like I've been worse. I didn't allow my husband to go. I don't want to be left alone.

Hanabi visits me everyday before she goes to the academy. She brings fruits, which I seldom eat, until the counter was stacked with varieties of mangoes, apples and even pineapples. She told me the fruits are rotting because I don't care about them. She must have said it in order to make me feel guilty, perhaps.

Neji didn't leave the house and was always there to take care of me. I didn't want him to be always around, but I didn't want him to go.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, shivering from something, which I don't know. He would be there beside me and cradle me in his arms while I desperately cry.

He never asked me the reason for those tears. It seemed normal to him – for me to cry and hate the world… especially him.

One day, I decided to leave my bed and take a walk. It was just after he left for a class D mission with his students. The Hokage seems to have forgotten that he's already a jounin. She just let him do ordinary missions and I felt suspicious about it.

When I told Hanabi about this, she dismissed the topic, like she was avoiding the conversation.

Something's wrong - I just know.

_Why is that, when we try to reach for something,_

_When we try to hold onto a distant dream_

_Do we find ourselves drifting away from our own self?_

_And fade, as our own soul wanders, never returning back._

I plan to fade.

* * *

_The riverman must be waiting for me. I haven't gone there for days_ – I ceaselessly thought.

Alone and anxious to leave, I pulled myself from the bed, and crawled towards the closet. Searched for a dress to wear, though it was just a useless gesture, for I won't even have the knack to choose a proper, or even a presentable garment through the absence of eyesight.

Believing that I've chosen a suitable kimono, I slowly opened the paper doors and walked out of the room. Not long after, I was able to leave the house.

Walking blindly, and remembering the path that I once took, I searched the way towards the river. I still felt nauseated and my feet, all fatigued, but I refused to go back.

_When I was young, I thought of becoming a wanderer_

_If I were capable of leaving the things I possess_

_If I am capable of running far, and flying_

_Then how far can I go?_

The water is near. The circulating cold air marked the presence of the gushing currents.

I waited, sitting on top of a boulder, resting on the damp riverbank.

It was a long wait. I decided to leave.

It was indeed stupid of me to think that he'd anticipate me.

* * *

"Good afternoon," he greeted.

My heart jumped upon hearing that soft mumble. No words came out though I tried to speak.

"Have you been waiting?" he asked.

"Yes… I mean… of course not," I stammered.

He laughed.

He must have been on a good mood today.

I felt him come nearer, and I moved a little farther unknowing the danger of tripping over the side of the boulder.

So I moved away while trying to avoid him until there was nothing but air. I realized that I was about to take a tumble, but his hand quickly caught me.

Landing awkwardly into his arms, I pushed him away…

**An odd feeling… I realized.**

" Your husband must be waiting for you…" his words drifted.

"He's not home," I quickly replied, a little nervously.

"Is he a ninja?" He asked.

"Yes. A Jounin."

"And you?"

I felt my head twitch. "I _was_," I snapped at him.

"And you?" I countered.

"What do you think?" he said.

It took a while for me to answer. I had a strange feeling about the way he caught me. And a lot more strange things…

"Um, yes," I replied.

"If you think I am a ninja, then I must be one."

It was such a vague answer.

"If you are a ninja, then you must know my husband, and me of course. We must've met."

"Hinata Hyuuga, yes, I do know you," he revealed. "And your husband…"

"Do you know him?" I asked.

He didn't reply.

"Why did you marry him?" he asked instead.

I was dumbfounded with that inquiry.

"Why do you ask?"

He chuckled.

I suddenly thought of leaving this person, but I couldn't.

"Arranged marriage," I said flatly.

"Don't you agree with it?"

It looked like I was being interrogated.

"It isn't necessary for you to know…"

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because you are a stranger, and I barely know you…"

"Yet you come here often, waiting for me…"

I felt myself turning red that moment.

"You're beginning to annoy me."

"But I think you talk to me nicer than the way you do to your husband."

"What makes you think so?"

"I just know…"

"You've too much confidence!"

"But you like me, more than your husband, am I right? Or at least that's what I think."

"You are annoying like him." I realized that talking with him is a crazy idea.

"Okay, if he finds out that you're talking to stranger like me, what would you think he'd do?"

"I'm not doing anything bad," I defended.

"Maybe, but if I say… Come with me and leave your husband. What will you do?"

His tone became serious.

I couldn't even think that moment. This person, was doing bizarre things, and saying absurd things. Yet I like talking to him. It feels like he's been watching me for a long time, and knows everything that's inside my head.

"He's a jounin. He'd probably slit your throat, or paralyze you." I threatened him.

"But I'm a ninja too remember?"

"Stop saying nonsense," I said sharply.

"You, are a friend, and he's my husband."

"Do you value him? I think not."

"What makes you think I don't?"

"Because you're here with me."

"Then I have to go," I decided.

"To him?"

"Yes."

"He must be around here, watching us," he noted.

"No he's not." I felt my hands beginning to tremble.

An unexpected statement came from him.

"Would you believe me if I tell you that this is a genjutsu?"

I wasn't able to answer him, when a feeling of dizziness came on me.

I almost collapsed but he immediately caught me.

Unable to shield myself from the next thing that would happen, I closed my eyes as I felt him come nearer until his lips brushed through my own.

"I'll take you home," he said.

"What?" I sounded confused.

"We're going home," he stressed.

"Excuse me?" I heard myself on a state of hysteria.

"We're going home Hinata-sama," he ended.

It was all, very confusing.

I remained silent while he ran fast through the trees, carrying me in his arms.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I asked you earlier, if this is all genjutsu, would you believe me?" he repeated.

We reached my doorstep. He went inside carrying me and I was still on the state of shock. He slowly dropped me on a chair, and after doing so; I felt my knees grow weaker.

"The genjutsu is gone," he said.

I felt paralyzed.

**NEJI?**

* * *

She was silent, unable to digest everything, and he studied her baffled expression. Though her eyes were devoid of sight, her expression can easily be read within those lavender orbs.

"Why did you?"

He voice was fickle, filled with an unknown emotion.

"When you left that night, I followed you," he explained.

And now, he was the one who asked.

"Why did you have to look for _him_?"

"Him? It was you! You fooled me!" she cried. Her anger-filled voice echoed though him.

" What if it's _not _me?" he fired back.

"What if you met someone else there? Will you come with him if he asks you to? Do you despise me that much, that you'd go and meet someone without even telling me?"

"I can't understand you!" she cried.

"As much as I can't understand you!" he replied.

She was crying again.

"Why do you have to do this… to me?" Holding the seams of her kimono, she sobbed until her shoulders trembled.

"He… was a friend," she whispered.

"And I am not," he said coldly.

"Liar…" her words stabbed him. Not even a hundred kunai can match the pain it brought on his whole being.

"And so are you, my dear wife," he said.

"I shouldn't have married you," she said while wiping her tear-drenched face.

"Because you don't love me, am I right? Or because you couldn't forgive me for taking away what's rightfully yours? Or... just for being the wrong person…"

Tears fell.

- They were his tears of pain.

" For being the wrong man for you, right from the beginning," he said softly.

"But I won't be deterred, even if you push me away."

She sobbed while he continued.

"Even if you injure me… I won't be injured."

* * *

Two days.

He was gone for two days.

He left the night they had a fight.

It was Hanabi who tended her, while her friends, Sakura and Ino also paid a visit.

She wasn't in the mood to talk, but then they somehow did a good job in cheering her up.

On the third day, he returned.

Unable to speak to him, she locked herself in her room, while he stayed outside. He even slept outside- on the living room.

* * *

Midnight.

She crept outside towards the kitchen.

Scrambling through the dishes, she searched for something edible to eat.

She refused to eat dinner with him earlier that evening.

"Here", he said to her surprise.

He opened the lights and guided her to the table, where he left her untouched dinner.

She sat there, not saying anything, while he stayed on the other seat.

"I… I'm sorry," he said.

"I shouldn't have done… that."

" You were right, I am a liar."

She remained silent.

She didn't touch the food, and drank the water instead.

"Tell me another thing Neji…"

He listened as she continued.

"Something's different with me… I don't seem to get better day-by-day. Am I sick?"

"No." He replied softly.

She felt a little relieved but not convinced.

"Take me to the hospital tomorrow, if you don't mind."

* * *

The next day, they went to the hospital as Hinata requested.

She had herself checked by a medical specialist.

They silently waited until the doctor came out to deliver the news.

"Hinata, you are expecting a child," the doctor announced.

Neji studied her expression.

"Am I?" she said meekly, while feeling her womb.

She didn't talk to him on their way home.

She locked the doors of their room.

Sitting on the bed, she felt the same weakness all over again… and began to lose consciousness.

**AN: That's a bit short, but a fast update. Please tell me how you feel…**

**Review.**


	12. Goodbye

_**Goodbye**_

Afternoon.

The high altitude clouds were thin, but the sky wasn't blue, but gray. A blanket of dim clouds mixed with cotton-like ones, hung like a pall on scenario of wooden background, with auburn leaves that stay afloat as the breeze carries them.

The sun was gold but its radiance stayed at a distance.

He waited for that door to open, but it remained shut.

She stayed on the other side, without anything to say after learning about her pregnancy.

He waited, until the sun was gone and the crescent moon reflected itself on the glass window.

He walked with weakening limbs towards the door. There was a slight movement on the wooden panels, and the door opened.

On the other side, she stood with her impassive expression while he tried to pull himself forward.

Face to face with her, he choked for words, longed to say what's inside his heart. But everything was swallowed in silence.

A deep breath came from her.

"I… don't know where to begin," she said with a calm voice.

"You know, that I have conceived, that's why you didn't leave."

All that he could say is' "yes".

"How long have you been toying with me feelings? How long are you going to deceive me Neji?"

There was an icy tone on her accusing voice.

"You say that you won't get hurt, even if I hurt you…"

"Do you exactly know how I feel Neji?"

Her monotonous voice trembled. He remained silent.

" I am carrying your child, yet I still feel hollow inside. Do you know what it's like to feel something like that?"

"Do you know how much I have bled because of you? You, and this situation that binds us; our lives determined by the circumstances of our births?

"Yet, when you stay close to me, I feel as if I don't have to become somebody. I can't even think of my own life now without you. And it suffocates me, I can't even breathe," she affirmed.

Outside, the thick clouds began to pile up and the wind blew harder.

Not long after, there was rain.

He held his ground while listening to her words.

She waited for him to say something, and not long after, he spoke.

"You speak as if you don't want me to become part of you. As if I am a terrible mistake that you want to erase. A memory you want to forget."

It didn't take a while before tears escape from his tired eyes.

He was almost devoid of sleep for two weeks, because he had to constantly watch over her. And hearing her words of hatred seemed to have a poisoning effect on him. He let all his feelings out. Nothing, not even pride could save him that moment.

"I took the blame for what happened to you. It was me who told you back then to give up on your dream; that's why you weren't able to defend yourself that day. And when uncle realized that you aren't capable of succeeding him, he took me instead."

"I was always blaming myself for what happened to you and now, even if I beg for your forgiveness, I couldn't gain even an ounce of respect for myself."

" You have bled you say, but did you know that I feel the same?"

He continued to sob. Indeed, he was crying for something that he couldn't understand.

"I _can't_ give your eyesight back… I don't even know what to do! I tried so hard to see the world in your eyes; I even pretended to be someone to earn your trust. But all of it… was wrong. All of it meant nothing to you."

He cried like a helpless boy, seemingly tired of everything that's happening in his life. - A display of emotion that was unexpected for a top-class jounin.

Everything was shrouded, as the rain poured its way down. It was her turn to speak, but she refused to say anything.

Unable to.

When he had composed himself, she began her questions.

"Why, do you feel that way for me?"

"Why do you feel so broken?"

Leaning on the side of the door, he chuckled. " Isn't it obvious?" He desperately laughed.

"Because I've come to _love_, even though I don't understand you."

That was the first time she heard of that word and unexpectedly, it came from him.

"I… believe I don't feel the same…" her words drifted on.

"I know", he said.

Lucid and precise were her words. But are they true?

" I… need to be free," she said.

"Please set me free…"

He must've understood it all. That night, he packed his belongings and silently left. Still awake and pretending to sleep, she swallowed her tears and cried softly while listening to his silent movements.

And when he was gone, she broke down.

* * *

All I can do is hold back my words.

_I need you_

_Sorry_

_Don't go…_

I didn't say them.

I remained awake listening to the pouring rain. It was colder than before, that I felt my hands and my whole body tremble.

I felt my heart ache. I know that I'm only using him, yes; I'm only using him.

But why do I feel this way?

I woke up the next day, after hearing someone into my room.

"Neji?"

My heart stopped.

* * *

"Good morning sister," Hanabi spoke.

I didn't even speak. I already knew he wouldn't return.

Holding a glass of milk Hanabi sat beside her sister. Hinata covered her face with a pillow.

"Neji told me to look after you. He didn't tell me where he's going," Hanabi explained.

"It's my fault," Hinata cried.

"Yes sister, it is," Hanabi said.

Wiping her tears Hinata spoke, " I'm supposed to bring him back right?" She sobbed as she pulled herself up.

"No sister. Don't bring him back."

"What do you mean?"

"Fix yourself," Hanabi started. "Get up and live the way you want. Try again and reach out to your dreams… That was his last message to you."

* * *

The air is warm and I can breathe deeply. I felt it once more.

I felt the space.

He left without a trace, but I believe in my heart that he'll be back.

When the right time comes, I knew he will.

**AN: Another short update; please bear with me. I'm having aa rough time right now. My dog died and now I quit my job. It's horrible…**

**Review.**


	13. Someday We'll Be Happy Again

_Someday_, _We'll be Happy Again_

To the person who reads this journal, consider this as a confession. Sixteen years of my youth, drifted on a stream, never to be seen again. My life tells a tale of love, which did not build on a foundation of good sense-, destined to be doomed forever.

Though I find it difficult, I still scribbled awkwardly on this piece of paper, just to tell my story.

Not so long ago, I was a beautiful child of spring- sweet and sanguine.

Now, a few months after my eyesight was taken, I feel that years have been added to my age. As I touch my forehead, I begin to feel the lines of time. Even my hands tell the same story. My head feels lighter, and my body, weaker.

I realized that I'm getting old…Older before my time.

And then there was this faint sound, which I frequently hear – the sound of my unborn child. Although I hardly feel anything inside my belly, I know that my child is calling. I suddenly thought of myself as hollow shell, carrying a life full of promise.

If I couldn't bring myself to life, then I will let this small voice harbor life inside me.

* * *

I suddenly felt the need for movement. After being confined in bed for almost two weeks, I left my home for the first time, and walked along the streets of my village. Using my cane, I slowly traced the path towards the gates of my house, and after a few attempts, I was able to find my way outside.

My first destination was the Konoha hospital. Without my eyesight, I knew it would be impossible for me to find the place. I only had a strategy in mind, and that is to ask for directions.

Taking my way slowly but surely on the sidewalk, I heard the first greeting from a friend.

"Hinata!!"

I smiled after hearing that familiar voice. I stayed there waiting for that person to come nearer. When he did, I gave him a cheerful look and said, "How are you, Naruto?"

We walked side by side and he asked where I was going. I told him that I'd visit the hospital.

"I'll take you there," he said. "Sakura is on duty today, she may be able to check on you."

_That's right._

_Naruto and Sakura. They are the inseparable pair. I remember feeling envious with Sakura, because she always has the opportunity of being with Naruto._

"Hey Hinata, are you ok?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes I am. I just remembered something," I replied.

"Anyway, before we go to the hospital, would you like to have some ramen?" he offered.

* * *

_Ramen_.

Had this situation happen before, I might have fainted, unable to believe that this guy's actually asking me for a date. But now, I just nodded and smiled at him.

"I would love to have some Ichiraku ramen."

The steam from the noodle condensed, forming tiny droplets on my nose. I wiped the moist skin with tissue paper. Aside from the noodle and the soup, the fishcake and leek made a good combination. I couldn't help but smile after taking my first sip of the broth.

"It seems like you like it very much." He must have noticed my reaction.

"Yeah I do. Ichiraku ramen is one of the best," I said, obviously pleased with the dish.

"So, how are you and Neji?" he began to ask.

It was a question that I couldn't, even if I want to, answer.

A smile. An empty one was my response.

"I heard that he left. Sakura told me. Granny Tsunade didn't give any details about his mission," he confessed.

"So he had a mission." I was lost with my own words at that moment.

That's when I found out about my husband's affairs after he had left me.

"I thought you knew," Naruto whispered.

"Now I know," I clarified.

Not that I was affected…or maybe I was. I refrained asking further and instead, talked about other things that are happening around the village.

"Did you get Sasuke back?"

"No," he sighed.

"How about your new teammate, Sai? Is he ok?"

"He's quite a jerk and completely clueless."

I could almost see Naruto's crumpled face after hearing that.

"How about Shino and Kiba? I haven't heard anything from them."

My feelings somehow transcended through the porcelain. It almost vibrated like my own voice.

"They didn't get a replacement," Naruto explained. "After Kurenai sensei became pregnant, Shino and Kiba were instructed to join the other teams. Sometimes they're with us, or with team 10."

"I see, I wonder if they'd want me back."

I was surprised after hearing myself.

"Hinata, I…"

I knew Naruto wouldn't say anything that would discourage me. But then sometimes, it's easier to face the truth.

I can't join my teammates anymore and become a ninja. Now that I can't even see, and that I'm pregnant.

"I think," Naruto, said," …we'd better get going."

* * *

We reached the hospital and found Sakura in one of the wards. Naruto left as soon as Sakura arrived to greet me.

"Hinata! It's nice to see you," she greeted.

I silently bowed in response.

"Naruto dropped me here, he just left."

"Yeah, he has a mission coming up. He's going with Kiba and Shino," Sakura said.

"Oh," that was the only thing I could say.

I had a brief check up. Sakura thought of getting an obstetrician but I said I was feeling fine. I only want to have a general health check, so she could do the service.

I told her about my plans of joining Kiba and Shino once more. Like Naruto, she couldn't give a positive response.

"The fifth decide on that. I'm concerned about your health Hinata," she admitted.

"I know," I said.

"If I can't help Kiba and Shino through techniques, then I must learn something that can be useful in battle."

"I know how you feel Hinata, but you see, you don't have the _byakugan_ anymore. Even if you can control your _chakra_, you can't fight without your blood line limit abilities."

"But…"

I tried to reason, until I felt tears escaping me eyes.

I can't believe I'm already crying!

I've returned to the same helpless girl who knows nothing but hide.

* * *

_When I was young, it was my father's back that I'm watching, feeling secure against that wall; I shield myself from the pain. And then it was Kurenai sensei's protection that I sought, after toiling so hard but not succeeding against my own battle._

_And then… it was Neji…_

_He offered himself to me, and I used him, both as a shield and a weapon against himself. _

"Please Sakura, I… don't know what to do with my life anymore!"

It sounded like a desperate call in a state of hysteria.

I cried to this person's arms like a helpless child.

I know, that I've always been like this. Maybe I wouldn't change.

Maybe I am really helpless.

"Neji… left me because I can't even decide on my own feelings. I can't… love him and I don't want to, but now that he's gone, I feel even worse!"

While I poured my heart out, she remained still. My friend, Sakura, held me through the sobs and the bitter words.

"Hinata, I think that you love him… too much that it already pains you. If seeing yourself apart from his shadow would make you realize your true feelings, then do it."

"I'm afraid I can't do anything," I said.

Sakura sighed and said, " You can be a medical ninja if you want. I could teach you some simple techniques, and then with the others' help, maybe we could figure something to compensate for your lack of eyesight. Who knows, maybe we could find a way to cure you!"

* * *

That afternoon, I found myself in the middle of a small crowd. Sakura called the others and everyone decided to throw a small party for me.

It was in the barbecue house- the favorite place of team 10.

I was happy to be with them all.

Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru were there. They were the ones who took me inside the restaurant and ordered the meal.

I was surprised after hearing everyone's greetings.

Kiba and Shino were also there. I hugged them and cried for a while, not letting go of their hands.

"I thought you guys have a mission with Naruto?" I said.

'The fifth gave it to the others, after knowing about this party," Kiba explained.

"Plus, we haven't seen you in a long while. Neji's been locking you up and keeping you away eh!"

I heard Naruto say something to Kiba that made the latter whimper.

"… Oops sorry. It's a stupid joke," Kiba retreated.

"No, it's okay. I was the one who's been locking myself Kiba," I said.

"But you two are my best friends. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I'm sorry."

* * *

When the conversation was diverted to my plans of becoming a ninja once more, everyone had their own suggestions.

"I could teach you some of my skills," Kiba boasted. "With a keen sense of smell, you won't be needing your eyes to track your enemy."

"And you can tame some of my insects," Shino reassured.

"I'd like you to have this," Ino handed something and placed it within my palm.

"It's a rare lily from our collection. It is said to have healing powers and a good luck charm."

Chouji even offered me his last slice of meat.

Naruto and Sakura disclosed the last news for me.

"Master Tsunade considers taking you under her wing for medical ninjutsu training. And, you may accompany us on simple missions, so long as your health isn't compromised."

They were all cheering for me, hoping for me to recover and move on.

Those words of encouragement, and the laughter, were all healing me. I feel my heart become a little lighter.

And so I laughed, and then I cried. But I was happy.

* * *

Before I went to bed, I took out a piece of paper and a pen. And I began to write.

Now that I'm closing this chapter of my journal, I would like to say a prayer.

A prayer for myself, and to the person out there…

_I wish for his happiness, along with mine. Though I may not see him tomorrow or the next day, I still hope to wake up and smile. For him, I hope for safety and health._

_I look forward to that day when I could finally see him with my eyes, and arms wide open, and though it's a bit far, someday _

_I know…_

**AN: While doing this chapter, I realized that her prayer was also my prayer. All you can do is to hope.**

**Review. **


	14. When the Stars Go Blue

_**When the Stars Go Blue**_

_Oh where will you go?_

_If love turns away from you_

_That's when you learn to say goodbye_

_When the skies lost their hue…_

_Oh when the stars go blue._

"I am Neji Hyuuga, and my duty is to protect you, Hinata-sama. That is my purpose in life_._"

_Was I able to fulfill my oath?_

"I wonder how someone like you can hurt me… I've been trying to understand you but all you do is avoid and hate me…"

_Do I really understand her? _

"You will get better and you'll regain your eyesight, and then you'll take revenge on me, for stealing _that_ which is rightfully yours."

_Those words…_

"But I won't be deterred, even if you push me away."

"Even if you injure me… I won't be injured."

_Such tormenting words…_

I have always believed in myself. But when I saw her pain, the pain I've unexpectedly caused when I decided to keep her for myself, I was never sure of myself anymore.

And so I left her all alone.

She's weak. Back then, I have always imagined her reaching out to me. With her tear drenched eyes and kind words, I would unthinkingly submit. But instead of being a man that would protect, I was the one who hurt her… lied to her about my identity as the river man.

She was there, vulnerable to everything that I inflict.

I took her, made her my wife… expecting her to melt a little with those little things that I could offer.

Yes, I was desperate.

Now, I couldn't even get near her.

I see her everyday, walking along the streets I was so familiar with. Her belly's becoming more and more noticeable with the passing weeks.

* * *

She often goes to the hospital where Sakura works as a medical attendant. I see her, as she struggles on her feet, walking with a cane and a heavy body. However, even I could sense her determination and hope.

She smiles at everyone, trusts and cares for them. Her gentle words and kind laughs were enough to heal a sick man.

I wish I was there.

I wish I was that person she's smiling at…. the person receiving her gentle caring words of encouragement.

But I wasn't there.

I can't be there.

She will never be like that when she's with me. I can only bring her pain.

I never left the village except for missions which the Hokage gives me secretly. None of our friends in Konoha knew that I was still there, watching my wife from a distance.

I stayed in one of the tallest apartments in the village, and occupied the room where I could see our house from a distance. Where I could see her.

I was like a stalker -waking up two hours before she does, following her until she reaches the hospital safely, and when she goes home.

When her lights went out at night, that's the time when I could feel at ease...

How long should I stay like this?

I don't know.

* * *

If this is what I should do, I'm not even sure of. Watching Hinata live her life every single day, without being there to participate- in her happiness and misery… was my punishment.

I remember what she said to the River man back then,

"_Do you know how the river moves? I'll tell you… it floods shortly after spring arrives, then drains toward the vast sea. The cycle starts from the tiny pools above the cliffs, formed during the monsoon season, and from the tiny webs of waterways, a river ends itself by joining the sea. But the rain fills it up again, like a faucet filling an empty bucket." _

"_Our lives mister River man, were not like that. We knew where we've started, our childhood, and our past. But we cannot predict the future. Will it be over? Where should we go? We have a destination but often times we do not know how to get there. We end up lost and regretful. We end up in misery."_

Am I becoming like that?

I do not know what lies ahead. My future is something I just could not grasp. This reality of seeing her, live a life with a promise of tomorrow… without me…

And where should I go if she no longer needs me?

Am I feeling the same as she does back then?

No. I can't even exist without her.

I don't want to be apart from her anymore.

* * *

My mind was screaming with these thoughts, as I walked towards her doorstep.

I belong to her and she belongs to me.

My hands were trembling. I have never felt such in my life. Not in the hands of any enemies. Not in any battle.

That day, I have decided to end my own misery and go to her.

I stayed at her doorstep, hearing her movements from the other side of that closed door.

"Is anyone there?" she said softly.

But I refused to speak. I waited.

"Neji?" she called out.

"Are you there?"

I felt my feet went cold.

My hands were beginning to push the door open and go to her. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and kiss her until she submits herself to me like she always does. But then, I felt like a fool. I remained immobile.

_I can't…_

She leaned behind the door and I was on the other side. Once again she spoke.

"If you're there… please… tell me…"  
"I…I'm doing fine now. I have a job at the hospital with Sakura. I'm also having a special therapy. They said that I could still regain my eyesight even if there's a very small chance."

"Master Tsunade took me as a medical ninjutsu student. I'm earning enough to feed myself and have a decent living. Father always visits me, as well as Hanabi. Even Kiba and Shino are kind enough to take me with them on simple missions. I couldn't use the _byakugan_ anymore, but I have some healing skills…"

She continued her seemingly one-sided conversation with me.

"How about you… Are you doing well? Are you having enough food and sleep? I'm worried they've sent you on a dangerous mission. "

"I… won't be a burden to you anymore…You see… I can take care of myself now! I know how to cook and scrub the floors, and even do the laundry…" Her words began to break.

"Neji…please come back…"

Her trembling voice echoed through the small boundary that separated us.

_No…_

I was tongue tied. Tears were flowing from my eyes, and I knew she was crying too.

"I know you're there, it's just that you can't reach out. I… I'm sorry…"

After those words were said, there was stillness, and silence.

I went back to my own apartment, slacked on an empty chair, stared on the dark ceiling above. It was as if I was being sucked inside a huge black hole, and I couldn't make myself escape.

I wish I could die at that instant.

* * *

Another morning came.

She woke up late this time. Her door opened thirty minutes later than it usually does. She walked slowly through the passageway leading towards the main road. I continued following but halfway through, she paused.

She clutched her belly and collapsed.

I panicked.

Immediately, I swooped down to take her in my arms.

She was crying…in great deal of pain.

Blood gushed from her thighs and spasms caused her to jerk inwards. I knew something was definitely wrong.

Shoving everyone that's on my way, I immediately reached the hospital and searched for Sakura.

* * *

"Neji! What are you…"

"Never mind me, please help Hinata!" Neji shouted.

Sakura then took notice of Hinata's blood-stained dress.

"Oh my… please put her there," she signaled towards the nearest bed.

Everything went fast. Neji was ordered to leave the room while Sakura and the other doctors rushed back and forth.

Intravenous fluids, haemostatic and other devices were brought inside the emergency room.

Sakura appeared in the doorway and signaled Neji to come inside.

He slowly walked until he was able to enter the room once more. There he saw Hinata's motionless figure. Respirator and cardiac monitors were attached to her feeble body.

"She's in an extremely delicate condition now Neji. She almost had a miscarriage," Sakura explained.

"Was it… because of me?" he whispered.

"I don't know… only you can answer that."

* * *

I remembered when she woke up and realized that she's already blind.

"_My eyes… what happened to my eyes?"_

"_No, there must be some mistake… It can't be… __It can't be!"_

If she loses our child… what would happen to her?

I can't even bear the thought.

"Neji…"

Her whisper…

"I… am so happy…" the lines were said between the tears.

I remained where I was, a distance apart from her.

"I'm sorry… it was me who caused you this."

"Please no…don't blame… yourself…"

"Goodbye Hinata… forget about me…"

"Neji… please… don't do this to me…"

It was a paper crane that I left between her palms.

"You will live, and someday, and I will find myself. I'll prove that I'm worthy of you. For now, I honestly think that I'm not. You'll always cry because of me. Please tell my child that I love him. I'll always love you Hinata."

**AN: Sorry for such a sad update, but this has to happen… Merry Christmas to everyone!**


	15. I Found A Reason

_I Found a Reason_

I was not able to grasp the whole truth about myself in the recent circumstances that happened in my young life. The truth that I am in fact, in spite of all my efforts to renounce it, am deeply in-love with my cousin, who happened to offer himself to me through marriage, though I wasn't sure if the reason for such offering is brought about by the sense of guilt and obligation, which my father had bestowed upon him.

Bound by hatred and denial that I have felt when my eyesight was taken, I blamed him for my present state and my future. But still, he stayed by my side like a faithful servant, who took every inch of wound that I inflict upon him without resentment. It was all duly compensated. But I did not know what to give him; I did not know what he wanted.

When I lost the sense of sight, it was the cold, dark abyss of seclusion that welcomed me. I was no longer the successor of my father; I completely lost my childhood adoration for a friend; I was engaged to Neji- to become his wife and stay by his side for the rest of my life, like a doll. A living symbol to remind everyone of the misfortune that befallen my clan. These were the thoughts that dominated my judgement and so I was consumed by imprudence and disgust for my own self.

But in spite of everything I have done, _he_ continued to serve me, abandoning his sense of pride. No, not just his pride, but his reason too.

He pretended.

He pretended to be someone else in order to get through me. To understand me.

_The Riverman_.

And then, he left. He said someday I'll find him worthy.

But I was the one who's never worthy of him.

We are destined to be apart. The sun could never be with the moon.

As the doctor advised, I was confined for two weeks. Sakura tends to my needs and the other ninjas cared to pay a visit.

My belly was now evident: Swollen and heavy.

I sometimes feel movement inside. Small fingers poking against my tender skin. Everyday I wake up and return to bed. The stillness of my life was like the darkness that I see. But I felt a little lighter.

The smile that everyone gives when they see me and the encouragement, were all real. I knew, that this is what Neji wants me to _see_.

I was never alone.

Hanabi became a Chunin and was now teaching her own genins and joining father in missions. Kiba and Shino were all promoted as specialists in tracking and reconnaissance missions. Ino like Sakura became medical ninjas. Everyone seems to move forward.

I stayed confined in the hospital. Waiting.

One day, I had an unexpected visitor.

It was father who went to see me.

He settled beside me without saying anything. I knew it was him however.

And then he spoke. The words came out with the dryness of the air surrounding the two of us.

"How are you my child?"

He held my hand but I refused.

"Why are you here?"

I wasn't expecting him to act with humility. I have never received such treatment from him.

"To ask for your forgiveness," the man replied.

"Forgiveness," I repeated.

"I haven't considered you committing any harm."

To this he cried. "No, it was me who made everything hard for you. I believed Neji could take care of you. I _handed_ over the responsibility to him. I wasn't even concerned about your own feelings."

The man continued to sob. All my life, I have never witnessed such emotional behaviour from Hiashi Hyuuga. My father was a stern man, who never showed his emotions to anyone.

When I didn't say anything, he continued.

"Neji spoke to me before he left. He begged. He said I should still consider you as a successor, and not him."

I remained listening.

"I refused at first, but when he told me _everything_, about how you felt about the marriage and about your present state, I couldn't help but realize it was my entire fault. I shouldn't have forced you into this."

"I am not suffering father," I told him. "You did what you think what's best for me. A blind woman couldn't possibly lead a clan. There is one question that I want to ask you…"

I paused until he was able to absorb what I wanted to say.

"Did you ever felt regret, about being my father?"

I couldn't fight the tears as the swell from my eyes. I was already crying…crying for the sense of loss and for something which I should've understood.

"No. Never," those were his words.

"And what about Neji? Was he regretful about marrying me?"

Father took my hand once more and said, "He would never leave you Hinata. You just have to find him in your heart."

For that I already knew I had to stand up and go. I could no longer afford to sit around and wait. He may not be here but he will not _leave_. I wouldn't allow him to.

I will bring him back.

That moment, I found what I've been looking for. A reason for me to continue living. I will not hide anymore. If I had to go through my life alone and bear the cross which I have created, I will do it with no second though. That's when I'll find him.

It's been two months since I went back home. Already skilled in doing the house chores by myself, I was able to clean up the place and feed myself without asking for anyone's help. Although I get sudden contractions during pregnancy, I refused to lie down. I have decided to pursue medical ninjutsu.

Walking along the sidewalk with my cane, I got to Konoha hospital in time. It was early morning. Tuesday.

"Good morning Hinata, are you feeling okay now?" Sakura greeted.

I nodded and smiled at her. She was one of the people whom I owe a lot. Even if I couldn't see her, I could feel the warmth of her smile transcending and warming my spirit.

"Yes I am my friend," I replied.

It was one busy morning. There are a number of casualties that time because of some unexpected battle between our village and the mist. The details were unclear to me, but all I knew was we had been set up and an ambush had happened.

Sakura and Ino were very busy running around the hospital, while I stayed in one of the emergency quarters, giving emergency treatment to the wounded.

A familiar voice came by in one of the patients.

"Hinata Hyuuga…"

I tried to reckon about the owner of this voice.

"It's been a while…"

"Neji?"

He touched my hand. It was the moment I'd been longing to happen.

I sobbed, painstakingly caressing his fingers and that's when I realized the blood flowing through those fingers. They were fresh blood.

"Oh my god, what happened to you?" I was in the state of panic. I felt his arms and torso. They were completely soaked in blood.

"Please, just stay with me," he said.

"No, I have to do something, or else you'll lose more blood!"

I couldn't catch my breath and my ears were ringing. I was afraid.

I'm so afraid.

"I'd get some medicine," I said. But my voice couldn't come out properly.

_He's injured! He could be dying! _

_Please don't die on me!_

I was frantically scurrying past the other patients, looking for something that might stop the bleeding.

My own helplessness, my incapacity to see once again struck me. I couldn't find _anything_ to save the man I love.

One of the ninjas cried out to Ino and Sakura for help. By then I was scrambling through the cabinets for some haemostatic. My hands were shaking continuously and I couldn't compose myself.

I heard Sakura rush inside and called out for some fluids and bandages. Immediately I went back to Neji and knelt beside him.

"You… are so beautiful…" he whispered.

"No, please don't say anything now. Just take a rest," I pleaded.

I felt his bloodstained hand caress my face. I held it tightly and kissed it.

"I…left to join the mission in the _mist_. But all I can think of is you, and our child. Forgive me..." After that he choked. He drew a deep sounded breath and fell silent.

"Oh no please! Stay with me Neji!" I cried.

Sakura pleaded for me to stay calm. But I couldn't stay clam. The man I love, the man I hurt for so many times; the man that made me choose to live in spite of all the tragedies that happened to me was here, holding onto me. I won't let him go.

I found the reason for me to live and I won't let him leave me. Not just yet.

"He's lost too much blood and his heart is beating irregularly," Sakura stated. She was holding my hand while I continue to cry beside my husband.

I remember when I first saw him when we were still children. I was afraid to look at his eyes, for they are so much like my own. He was always there, watching me, surrendering himself to me.

He must live.

All of those thoughts came clear to me. Neji and my unborn child...

They must live.

And so I have decided…

**AN: Three chapters left. Sorry for the late updates. Now, generous reviews will be appreciated.**


	16. Light

**Light**

_

* * *

_

Neji.

_Let me begin with a simple message: I am grateful, and happy that I have met you. I have been selfish, unable to recognize my own faults; I have been weak. I didn't even know what I want. I despised you, yet it was you who defines my existence. _

_Days._

_For the days I've lived as your wife, I considered dreadful, yet I am most cherished. I realize it, now._

_The times have been difficult for you as well as for me. My eyesight was taken because of an unfortunate circumstance, and your freedom was taken by my father, when he entrusted me under your care; when I became your wife. Every day, I felt as if life is a continuous struggle for freedom. I wanted to be free from you, from my family, but most of all, I wanted to be free from myself. I suffocated with the air I breathe, I felt defiled by your simplest gesture of concern. I was hollow, slowly decaying beneath my own shadow._

_Tears._

_Let me cry for you. For everything that I have done… Let me cry for your sacrifice, for the days when you took care of a childlike woman who feigned her sickness for the purpose of making your life harder than it already is. For denying you of your right, as a husband, and as a father._

_Thank you._

_For the paper crane you've given me back then. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for being the Riverman. Thank you for giving me a wonderful gift – a child. _

_Light._

_When I saw you back then, when we were still young, I remembered the look in your eyes. I was afraid to see them for they are much like my own. I saw my future within you. I couldn't understand it, but now, everything is clear, like the heavens have opened up for me. I see light, brighter than the sun. It is hope for me… the hope of loving, and being loved in return._

_Carry on. Live for me._

_Live for our child._

* * *

Neji held the piece of paper -clutched it between his palms as the tears overflowed from his tired, bloodshot eyes.

The sky's overcast outside the square window beside his bed. He was unconscious for 3 days, and was unable to discern what has happened with Hinata.

He remembered her crying beside him, kissing his hand, pleading him to live.

_Don't leave me Neji._

Yet, she was the one who left him.

Like a dream, he wanted everything to change. He wanted to wake up.

Sakura was the only one who had the strength to tell him the whole story:

Hinata had a premature labor while Neji was struggling with his own wounds. Her uterus began contracting uncontrollably and she felt immense pain, but through it all, she refused to leave Neji's side.

The situation got worse, and she was delivered to the labor unit.

She was bleeding profusely, but she didn't cry. The doctors decided for her to have premature labor, or else, both her life and the baby would be in danger. She agreed but before undergoing the procedure, she asked Sakura, "Neji has lost a significant amount of blood right?"

"Yes."

"His blood type doesn't match the hospital samples, right Sakura?"

"Yes."

After hearing Sakura's confirmation, Hinata spoke: "I'll deliver my child. And then, please transfuse my blood to my husband. We have the same blood type."

The doctors, even Sakura retaliated, but Hinata insisted on her request.

"What about your child?" Sakura asked.

"He will live to see his father… Please Sakura. Let me do it. This is my last wish, for _him_." Hinata was in tears, yet she was smiling.

"I can't!" Sakura shouted. Her tears fell uncontrollably, while holding Hinata's hand.

"Please… This is the only time I have decided… for _myself_," Hinata pleaded. "Let me save the man I love…"

Before the procedure commenced, Hinata requested for a piece of paper. With all the strength left from her feeble body, she reached for the pillow, propped up against it, and scribbled awkwardly, her last message for him.

* * *

Neji read the letter, over and over, until his eyes shut themselves against his own will. Outside, rain began to drizzle, dampening the afternoon. He cried and slept.

He continued this routine for another 3 days, refusing to speak to anyone.

He was unable to attend his wife's funeral. Confined inside the hospital, with his wounds still fresh, he thought of dying with her.

He wanted to die.

On the tenth day, he was discharged from the hospital. Before going home, he went to the nursery for his newborn son.

Cradled inside an incubator, was their child, sleeping innocently, unaware of his mother's sacrifice.

_Take care of our child. Please, tell him about me…_

Her words etched a deep wound in his heart. Not even time could heal this wound. He will grieve forever for her loss.

But he must carry on and live for tomorrow, for that was her wish.

The nurse told him about his child's delicate condition, that the child must stay inside the ICU for the next one or two months.

He was given 4 days a week to visit his child, to avoid too much exposure which could bring forth detrimental effects, especially if the child develops infection. To this, he solemnly agreed.

Shortly after leaving the hospital, he went to his wife's grave.

* * *

Walking alone, he looked around him.

Everything remained the same as it was before. As if nothing, not even the grass lining the roadside absorbed a certain degree of distortion upon his wife's passing. The clouds stayed afloat, the breeze, cool. The world, in its empty rotation.

All was moving ahead. Unending.

He walked towards a line of tombs, all belonging to the Hyuuga clan.

The cold granite stone encased her body that was once, warm. A bouquet of white lilies remained fresh on top of the granite tomb. Two paper cranes rest beside her name, engraved in stone.

He ran his hands through it, feeling her presence, and then afterwards, whispered a prayer.

_Wait for me…_

**AN: This is a short update. Second to the last chapter. I wrote this, reflecting the loss I've had recently. I've lost a dear friend. A best friend… Do forgive me for the sadness, but I just can't help but remember. **


	17. I'll See You Soon

**I'll See You Soon**

_ -I'm halfway through the heavens, come and meet me-_

I have endured the languid passages of time, drifting alone each day of my life, waking up, and sleeping once more; the counting never stopped.

Have I become a sand dune, being blown by the wind, slowly shaping into an incorrigible form?

No. I was simply waiting: waiting for my reunion with her.

As I lay on my deathbed, I would like to recall the last eight years of my life.

My son is now eight years old. I named him Shinji.

* * *

It is a big achievement for a Hyuuga descendant to pass the exams and become a ninja at such a young age.

Shinji inherited my skills, but he got his sensitivity from his mother. He began attending to his mother's grave at the age of two, offering flowers and prayers during festivals, and helping me in clearing out the weeds and molds from the tombstone. He never skips the afternoon offerings for his mother in spite of his conflicting class schedules.

Hiashi and Hanabi visit us for the yearly remembrance of my wife's passing. Hiashi never spoke to Shinji about what happened. I was only able to explain to my son about Hinata's sacrifice when he turned seven.

He asked, "Father, is mother sad when she died?"

"Your mother saved my life. I want to believe she felt happy when she did that."

"How," he questioned.

"I left your mother and joined a dangerous mission without her knowledge. You see, your mother and had some things between us. Things that we need to sort out for ourselves. I was seriously injured during the mission, and was rushed back to Konoha for treatment. Your mother was there, working as a medical ninja, and even though I had done her wrong, she still cared for me. I was told after recovering, that she had to give birth to you, out of panic and fear after learning about my condition. Along with this, she used her remaining strength to save me. She donated her blood in order for me to survive."

I saw my son's eyes, and tears were in them. He got these eyes from Hinata, and whenever I look at them, it's as if I'm seeing her.

"You feel sad every time you remember her. And I know that you'll always be sad," Shinji said.

I did not reply, for his observation was true. I can never be the same, and I can never feel pure happiness. Whenever I feel warmth spreading inside me because of my son, there's a faint crack inside my heart that leaks of sorrow, like cold floodwater seeping inside a torn shoe that can never be repaired.

Every day I stagger around this gaping hole surrounding my heart.

"I'm sorry son," that was all I could say.

"I understand father. I would have done anything to see mom."

* * *

The two of us have this void in our lives, caused by Hinata's loss. But my son is strong, unlike me. Perhaps he inherited my strength when I was younger. After my father died, I did nothing but practice and excel in everything I do. I wanted to become a better version of myself. I sought perfection.

And then I met Hinata.

Hinata, whose courage in spite of frailty antagonized my belief, made me see the world in a different light. Yes, the look in her eyes changed me and I felt warmth once more, and scared; Scared about losing these feelings that were overwhelming my heart because of her. I felt passion, concern and love.

After learning about her sacrifice, I couldn't forgive myself. It was the blood that we share that gave me life, and took hers. Several times I've thought of killing myself but I couldn't make myself commit such an act. So I chose to live.

But then I wondered how long I have to wait.

I have often dreamt of Hinata. In those dreams, she was walking with me. Leading the way, I could only see her back, her long hair, and her shoulders. I continue to follow her in silence. Even in dreams, I wasn't able to speak to her.

I wanted to know why, why am I still here inside this hollow shell incapable living in the present; unable to see the future? What am I living for, if my soul had long died?

I felt it. The life Hinata went through during her short life spent in darkness.

Perhaps I have tried to hurry myself into it, but now, I could only wait for minutes, for I knew it was already time: my time.

* * *

I have been suffering from a weak heart, after being seriously injured eight years ago. My heart, said the doctor, _has refused to beat on a regular rhythm._

I thought to myself, perhaps my desire transcends my mind to my body.

Soon, I would feel my chest tighten, and I would gasp for air. I would find it difficult to breathe, my sight will be gone, and I would see nothing but a blurred vision of my present and future.

I knew it; I have anticipated my final moments. Shinji will find me, moments after I drew my last breath. People would gather around me. Shinji might weep, but he already understood everything: My existence and disappearance in his life. My freedom, achieved.

_Will I see you again Hinata?_

Perhaps I will.

* * *

Shinji entered his father's room carrying a tray of lunch. The floorboard creaked at his footsteps and everything inside the room was quiet.

"Father?" he spoke.

He placed the tray on a counter beside his father's bed. He reached for Neji's pulse and felt it.

Silently, he wept beside his father's lifeless body, and soon went out of the room to announce to everyone about what happened.

* * *

_My father used to tell me that I have a different pair of eyes. _

_He used to say that I am special, that I'd become a great person because of these eyes. _

_And so I believed what he said._

_And then one day, I saw someone who has the same eyes as mine. _

_I just know that that person possesses the same thing as I have. _

_I felt a great deal of fear. I don't know why._

"She's your cousin. Her name is Hinata,"

_I wasn't listening to my father. I found myself staring at the apparition of my future, standing in front of me. All I heard was the word…__Hinata…_

She smiled at me and I felt warmth. She spoke of my name softly, like the wind whispering in my ear.

She said, "Welcome home…"

FIN.

**AN: After 3 years, finally I was able to finish this. Do forgive me for it took a while before I posted this final chapter. I may not be able to write at ff that regularly anymore because of my job, but I will still update the other unfinished fics, esp. the 2 new GSD fics and the Just High School. Thanks and I hope to read your reviews …**


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